Tag Archives: Yours Truly

Gossip Queens

18 Jan

Someone who’s visiting the city recently pinged me on the “Networking website”. I responded, and introduced myself. He asked me whether my last name was A, B or C. (Yes, there are apparently 3 people with my first name in this city.) When I confirmed which it was, he responded saying he was glad he’d asked me that, because he’d been warned about my “mental and personal hygiene”,¬† and signed off.

This is the third instance that I’ve gotten the idea that I’m being gossiped about. What I cannot imagine for my life is why. My flatmate (the gay one) has warned me time and again to not be as talkative and naive when interacting with the “community” in this city, and that it’s the bitchiest of all, in the country. I didn’t believe it, since I always thought I surrounded myself with people of reasonable character and intellect. Clearly I was wrong.
Some weeks ago, an acquaintance, who is a friend of my flatmate’s (which I can’t imagine why, since my flatmate keeps lamenting how much he badmouths just about anyone he knows), was telling him that he heard from everyone that I had bad breath! He was telling my flatmate! What was he thinking? That my flatmate wouldn’t tell me that he’d said that? And the flatmate was given yet another opportunity to turn around and say, “I told you so”.
A week after the flatmate told me, I’m at a party and I come across Queen Bitch. I give him a polite nod, and he stops to make conversation. I make an excuse and move on, since I have no desire to engage in idle chatter with him. Some minutes later, someone stops me to introduce me to him, at which point I have to interrupt “Oh, we’ve met” and move away. Some more minutes later, I’m standing and talking to a few folks, I turn right and Queen Bitch presents himself there as well. How two faced can the guy get???
It’s of little surprise that another friend from long ago (that Queen Bitch and I have in common), who used to call on the phone often, and make an effort to stay in touch, is now barely cordial when we meet (and put me on a very, VERY limited list on Facebook. I outright removed him).

This is the third incident I hear of being spoken about. The first occurred sometime last year, when a friend suggested I keep a low profile, since he’d observed smirking at the mention of my name. I think I wrote this piece about it, but it could’ve been something family-related instead.

I really can’t imagine how I’ve landed myself in these circumstances. I don’t even know what people out there are saying about me, and who all particularly are doing so. Or if I even know all of them. Or how many of them will avoid me on the basis of what they’ve heard about me.

I need to stop being such an innocent, vulnerable lamb. But to begin with, I think I’ll have to change cities and pretty much start over. Which is difficult since I dislike Delhi, and I’ve ruined Bangalore for myself.

Why I believe I’m a Drama Queen…

28 Apr

There’s nothing surprising about a gay guy being a Drama Queen, right? It’s probably a fundamental right for them. And it’s almost a part of his daily life. It adds spice to it, makes him interesting (if the drama is within limits) and almost defines his existence.

Well, those are the exact kind of thoughts that a book I recently purchased is going to attempt to banish from my mind.

So while I was hunting for GMAT Prep books, I came across this book on a most unexpected online book store, where I never thought I’d find it. (To be fair, I found it AFTER I’d purchased the GMAT prep book!)

To those who shop for books online in India, no I did not find it on Flipkart, where I would not be surprised to find it if a book is worth it’s cost. I found it on another website, called Coinjoos.com, which doesn’t seem to have any more gay material on it.
Moreover, I got it as a second-hand in mint-condition, which means I paid Rs. 120 for it, as opposed to the discounted price of Rs. 600 on Flipkart! What a steal! Especially since I never was looking for it in the first place… It literally dropped out of nowhere.

So why do I think that I too am a Drama Queen? Several observations come to mind.

1. That I think a book can magically transform me. (Though I hope this one can, substantially if not dramatically entirely).

2. That I needed to come across this book to realize that I “have a problem”, so to speak, which needs to be looked into.

3. That I started this blog, just to mope about my life!

4. The observation that I tend to become popular very quickly among people when I’m introduced to them, and then gradually fade in “popularity” and “visibility”. To quote what the book says, drama is initially appealing to all, but gradually they lose interest and may even find it tiring (how am I to know). And that I often think that people are/get tired of me, even when they’re not.

5. That I like to take drastic steps to bring about the smallest change.

6. That I wrote the above sentence without actually meaning it, or understanding its implication, but just because it sounded nice.

7. That I’m so quickly offended for the smallest of reasons, and tend to cut myself off from he/she who offends (imagining all sorts of revenge against them in my mind: refer next point), until I eventually just forget about it altogether.

8. The 24×7 Broadway that is running in my head, showcasing my wishful thinking, or my interpretation of how certain events that happened should really have happened. Or could have happened. Or should not have happened. Just about anything really. The smallest of impetus can send it off in a tizzy.

9. That I’ve already come up with 8 points, and could dish out another 80 without too much effort.

10. That I had to write this blog post about this book, instead of just reading the damn thing. I’m writing a post hailing a book that I’ve read 5 pages of, and not even begun to enjoy.

Go Figure!

Anyhow, will get back to it now, and keep you folks updated. Wish me luck!

Just My Imagination

18 Jan

is this little place I like to go, when I want to go somewhere I cannot go in person. Where the only people around, are by invite only, and who cannot say no. Where conversation is controlled, and decided by me. Where I can speak my mind, unrehearsed yet perfected, with great timing, and receive the response it deserves.
Where I can put people in their place. Where those I want to like me, have no choice but to do so, and those I tend to envy, find the tables turned.

There’s a little place called my imagination where I spent most of my childhood, and nearly every night, as I still do so. There’s a little place called my imagination where I escape every time life feels so wrong. There’s a little place called my imagination, that weakens me from the core. My vice, my weakness, my imagination.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

28 Dec

Why do I pity you
For all that I think you do not have
Disregarding all that you do?

Why do I pride myself
For all that I think I have
Worthless and temporary too?

Doubt

19 Dec

Maybe what they said is right. Maybe I am just a child?
And all that I thought I was, all that I wanted to be, was but a misconception?

Yearnings for a canine

15 Oct

I’d completely forgotten how much I loved dogs. How strange it is, the absence of any dogs around me, apart from threatening looking strays.

Then I came across this website : http://letslivetogether.wordpress.com/

And now those yearnings are coming rushing back.

So I don’t know how long I’m in this city, and I know for a fact that the sister won’t be indulgent. What do I do? Wait for her to leave, then move into a house, and pick up my new baby?

I love cute dogs, and frankly, I have NO idea why I don’t have one yet!

It says so on the cards

30 Aug

So fellow-blogger FlyGye had come across a Tarot-reader who took his breath away. I extracted her contact details from her and passed it to my Mom, who pretty much neglected them.

Recently, the folks were shopping in a mall, where this lady was reading as she does every weekend. I was familiar, since I’d seen her there on an earlier occasion.
Mom forced pop for a joint reading session.

She told the parents that they’d never separate, inspite of all their efforts, which disappointed them immensely.

She said that my sister was about to enter blissful matrimony and be completely head over heels in love, which is good to here.

About me, she said that I would achieve my career goals, if I remained clear-headed.
She stressed on the fact that I’m a mental disaster.

A “mental disaster”. While I don’t disagree with her for a moment, I must make it a point to note that I’ve genuinely never heard that phrase ever before. “Mental disaster”. Whatever does it even mean???