Honest, I am!

And D has awarded me for it too!

And as it turns out, so had BlueMist and Firebolt, only that I didn’t acknowledge it then, and forgot about it later :-S

Silly, stupid me!

Oh well, better late than never, right?

Tragically, I must make 10 honest confessions and you all know how much I hate doing that 😛

1. I’ve smoked more cigarettes in the past 2 weeks than the number of days in them. And I have to, have to stop before I start liking the tobacco.

2. I can never be satisfied, never ever. I need to feel more successful than everyone else around me to be absolutely happy. And that has to change too. Imagine a life in which one is never satisfied!

3. I’m tempted to go to Mysore soon, to meet this hot, hot American student I’ve been in constant touch with off-late.

4. I thoroughly enjoy making a good impression. On Friday night, I left office at 6.15 having received minimal work to do all day (and the entire past week, in fact). I had lunch with a few friends, then went to one of their homes to hang out. Meanwhile, I’d checked my email on my phone and seen that the boss had sent me 2 minor corrections I had to make in something that I’d developed in the first 3 weeks. I went back to office at 9 p.m. to complete it, though it could’ve waited till Monday, yes. Don’t even ask me how I got home after leaving office at 10.
I could always say that I’m doing it so that the boss thinks me worthy and gives me a good assignment for the next few months. But in all honesty, I just need to impress. Sometimes even the worst of people. And once I have them impressed, I don’t give much of a damn about them. Twisted I am. But then, it’s my nature 😦

5. When I’m earning enough money to be able to squander it, I’m going to buy a Karaoke machine. And use it in all excitement for a few days. And then forget about it. Just as I always do.

6. I want to move to Delhi. And to Mumbai. And to France. And Amsterdam. I want to work in France. I want to go to University in Amsterdam. I want it all now. I want everything. Everything. And once I have it… well, please refer point 5.

7. I’m beginning to think I’m completely incapable of having a relationship that would last longer than a few months. (Even a heterosexual one, were I straight and this complicated). I find it so difficult to deal with my complexities, I cannot imagine how someone else would manage that burden. The sooner I deal with it, the better. I have to find some avenue to see me through my 40s that would alleviate some of the boredom from my life then, and I really wonder if there is one.

8. I think I’m becoming more casual about coming out to people. So much so that I need to tell myself to hold back. I almost told Alika the other day, in a casual chat. And I did tell Hag-Designate, rather, Hag No. 3 in casual conversation. It cannot be done so randomly. It has to be thought-out, along with all repercussions.

9. Sometimes I feel that my father has given me the miserly gene. At others, I’ve discovered myself to be quite casual with spending. I’ve realized that I don’t bother too much with shelling out if I’m having a good time, yet every additional ten rupees make a whale of a difference if I’m having a lousy experience. Once again, it’s my usual obsession about not wanting to get the short end of the stick.

10. I love talking about myself. Far too much. I’m hoping there is some childhood traumatic experience associated with it, or Mummy went wrong somewhere in raising me, because it is definitely a horrible, horrible quality to have.

Okay, so the rules of receiving this award :

And all you award winners, the award checklist goes like this:
1. I must thank the person who gave me the award and list their blog and link it – Oui!
2. I must list 10 honest things about myself – Oui!
3. I must put a copy of Honest Scrap logo on my blog – Oh yes indeed, I will!
4. I must select at least 7, 8 other worthy bloggers and list their links – Done!
5. I must notify the bloggers of the award and hopefully they will follow the above three requirements – Above 4 requirements, actually… Done!

So the 7 honest bloggers who may or may not be receiving this from me for the first time, are…

1. Pesto Sauce, whose blog I consider the straight(/bi :P) counterpart of mine.

2. Chandu, who doesn’t seem to have received/acknowledged the award yet.

3. BlueMist – Who slips in her truest of thoughts among some others…

4. Jacko – Who is painfully honest sometimes 😛

5. Meira – Whose writings make me happier at any time of the day

6. Firebolt – Whose writings help me learn and grow

7. Rani – Who has all the reasons to be honest…

Take it away, folks…

It Happened One Eve

31st December

7.00 PM
Shirt… check. Trousers… check. Sweater… hmm. Okay, maybe a jacket… nah, nothing matches. Socks… check. Handkerchiefs in socks to make the boots less painful… check. Boots… check (Wow, I don’t feel a thing!)

So I’m set with one layer of clothing and footwear. Now for the warm stuff. Sweater… again, nothing. Tweed court… Check!

Warm enough? Not for friggin’ 31st! Sweatshirt underneath shirt for warmth… check.

“Mirror Mirror on the wall, how ridiculous do I look in all?”
Mirror : Ummm, it’ll do, I guess.

Not enough!

So the sweatshirt&shirt combo is looking a bit weird, so shirt comes off. Back to one layer of clothing and an unprotective tweed jacket.
Hmm… looks great. But the sweatshirt is old! Won’t do.
Shirt and tweed jacket. Hmm, looks decent. But I’m bloody cold.

Mirror : “Then just suck it up, and putt through the night, Unsung.”

Hmph!

And that’s how I set out for the evening, shivering from home to the Metro stop, then from the metro stop onwards, in search of the house.

I enter the room, and lo behold, a senior from way back. Now this girl I haven’t met for several years, and I learn that she’s now dating an acquaintance from college.

I remember her distinctly for being a daughter of an adorable teacher, and having a younger sister who looks almost exactly like her.

“Ohh err… which one is she?! Shit!”

So in conversatin, she tells me she’s pursuing her post grad. so she’s got to be the elder one. “How’s <Younger One> doing?” I ask nervously.
“She’s doing well,” comes the response. Phew!

So a bit of conversation with her, and then we set out to decide where we want to parrty! 2 cosey rooms indoors, or the cold semi-open terrace. They want the terrace. Dammit! No problemo, the alcohol later will make us feel better.

So we set up. I know most of the people there, but aren’t on talking terms with the majority. So I instead turn focus on getting to know friends of friends, and exchange enjoyable dialogue with them instead. “Score (on the inter-personal skills front), Unsung!”

Another 2 girls turns up in a while. That’s 3 girls in a gang of 30. Wow! One of them seems bitchy looking, and a bit dull… she’s not even mixing, and hasn’t introduced herself to anyone. Well, except the 3 she’s speaking to, and then me, because I was talking to everyone else she was interacting with.

Anyway, so it’s been a few hours, there has been sufficient interaction, and 2 guys, I can decisively say, are gay.
One is talkative, interactive, has seen a bit of life, but extremely gay (on your average gaydar.) Lo Behold, he’s “committed” to the bitchy looking one!
Ha! I’d like to hear him say that in a few years… Anyway, the chick seemed quite dull, as I mentioned, so maybe a resonant personality (even if with the wrong orientation) is the best she could do.

The other gay guy also mentions a girlfriend somewhere, later into the night. Hmph! Why do Indian guys need to come to terms with their sexuality so much later in life!
Nonetheless, I talk to this fellow as much as I can, and manage to keep him in laughter. I like having an audience to my cracks, even if small.

There are high points, and low points in the evening. Highs include group Hookah games (The Best Hookah I’ve ever had till date is here!) that never quite take off, and there are lows where the gang-from-college is thick in personal jokes, and I wish I had some closer friends with me. I like to be in the thick of affairs and feel quite out-of-place otherwise (to hell with tons of others who are as incongruous… I’m not them!)

So the evening goes by, with 3 drinks, a few drags of weed that never quite “took” and tons and tons of Hookah (that gave me a tremendous high in the beginning, but did nothing after… even on addition of Vodka to the liquid!)

The music is mostly rap and punjabi, and not to my taste at all. How I die for a party where I can play my music! Pure dance, that is.
So eventually, I get really bored, and settle into a bedroom on the pretext of resting a bit. I pop on my iPod that I’m thankfully carrying (as always) and indulge myself with my own preferences. It’s about 2.30 am, now.
That’s where I go to sleep, feeling darned cold with no blanket. And with my boots on! I must say it’s quite a transition from not-being-able-to-walk-in-them to sleeping-in-them. I only have my coat for warmth, and I tug at it more.
I wake up at 7.00 am. Everyone is asleep, and will be for a few more hours. I pick up me boots (that I’d removed later) and quietly step out, head to the exit, wake up the caretaker to let me out, and walk to the station, a bag of quivering bones, to head home. It’s insanely cold outside, not to forget darned misty. I won’t be surprised if I end up really ill soon!

Now I’m in the comfort of my warmish blanket, and am finally ready to take a real nap!

Yawn!

In other excitement, Just ‘A’ has been Just so Generous to confer an award to us at the beginning of the year! I hoope that’s setting a precedent! It’s called “The Resonance Award”, crafted by Kiran.
The terms are that it must be given to at least 6. So I pick those that truly touched “The chords of my heart”.

1. Ramby – For reinforcing my belief in the absolute, over the relative.

2. Cacophonic Clamour – For his occasional words, that captivate each time (except the one about the TV soaps 😛 )

3. Simply D – Whose simplicity advocates humility.

4. The Freeeezing Flames – For inspirational grit and pride

5. FlyGye – In the hope that he returns soon, for we miss him so!

6. Last but certainly not the least (au contraire, the extreme opposite of ‘least’) – To Rakesh. He mayn’t blog for you all, but he fills up pages for me, morning and night. Not only does he touch the chords of my heart, he also occasionally changes the strings, whenever I’m getting a little rusty.

Happy 2009, every one!

Woohoo!

Whee, Just ‘A’ decided to give my day a brilliant start with ze Butterfuly Award!
Here it is…

Ain’t it pretty? 🙂

One again, many many many thank-you’s to Miss Colour-Me-Sunshine for being so sweet!

Now as we were taught in school, one must not be selfish with these things! It is not, after all, chocolate cake that one could finish off and no one would know (which is exactly what I did last night, the nasty boy that I am! 3 whole slices too!)
https://unsungpsalm.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.php
So who shall be on the receiving end of the Pretty Little Butterfly? Here goeth …

1. Chandu – Simply the best!

2. The Freeeeezing Flames – My new-found Reader’s Delight! You go, girl!

3. Whiney Baldy Man (a.k.a Rebel) – Because balding people should have the occasional reason to smile 😛

4. Meira’s Corner – Which she lets us into every once in a while! Elegant and Poignant, quite like her name 🙂

5. Stories Seldom Told – Who I’m sooo delighted to have back with us!! Yay 🙂

Take it away, fellows!