Tag Archives: PG

PG – Shalom

22 Jul

So last I head, FlyGye’s Beloved had identified another accommodation closer to his campus, and should be moving out of home in a week. I never really got to say Goodbye to him, but I don’t really regret it. So he was somewhat cute and smart. He was also two years younger and used to Sniff as loud as a tractor. So even if he offered himself to me on a silver plate, I doubt I would’ve taken him. Okay, I would’ve taken him but I doubt that I would’ve kept him. Yes, that’s the final word. Then, he was quiet and reserved, didn’t make delightful conversation, did not laugh loudly and often enough at my jokes. It would take more than brain mapping to figure out what’s going on his head.

And yes, I’ve seen better.

Anyway, back in college and very neutral about it. I left a lot of my holiday chores unattended throughout the vacation which I shall have to revert to. There hasn’t been any jump in freedom as such, but oh well. The faculty this semester is rather horrid! How am I going to use my free time? Nothing planned. Made up with KT, at least temporarily. PK and I had lunch on the same table today without even looking at each other. Again, I’m not too affected.

On my way back from class, I encountered about 20 oversize people, so I decided to take my roomie up on the jogging invitation so that’s where I’m headed now. More later. Cheers!

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PG – Lights, Camera… Action!

17 Jul

Today, he saw quite a showdown… the grim reality of my family.

It all started like this. Mom wanted to watch that new flick, “Jaane Tu… Ya Jane Na”. I agreed to go with her, only to be the dutiful son. After numerous delays, Pop called in the evening to confirm that we’d go tonight. Towards the end of the conversation, he asked “What about the boy? Ask him if he wants to come…”

I sharply told him, “Father, he’s not your guest! He’s a paying guest. It’s very unnecessary!”
After a few exchanges, he said, “Yes, you’re right. I don’t have to look out for him.” Indeed, he didn’t. I mean, there is a line that you draw, right? If tomorrow they had 2 PG’s over instead of just one, would they take all 2 with them each time they went out for a film? It was totally uncalled for… and very typical of him to want to do something of the sort.

He bought the PG a ticket. Do not ask me why!

Though I wasn’t bothered, and I don’t feel threatened or anything (really!) I really find it most silly. On one hand, mom complains that his living expenditure is likely to exceed the rent, and hence controls his usage of AC and tells him off when he wastes electricity (which he does incessantly, so I don’t blame her.) On the other hand, we’re taking him to movies and buying him popcorn! It’s most bizarre!

Anyhow, since father purchased his ticket without asking him, he was forced to come. Not one to enjoy most of Bollywood, he clearly disliked the experience. But he was most amused, surely, with the bickering and quarrels between Mom, Dad and me, on the way to the theatre. We are a most unconventional and argumentative lot. When the sister is present, it gets far worse! Anyhow, that’s another story.

So we sat through the film with him sniffing away a dime a dozen, next to me. The guy sniffs so loudly, Japan is disturbed. It’s not so much a sniff as a snort. Dad does it too, and it’s most bothersome! And highly unbecoming of an 18-year old. And the guy is too much of an introvert… hardly speaks at all!

Coming to the film, I must say Irfan Khan is a hottie! The character he played was so gay! The film was another case of closet-homosexual-forced-into-heterosexuality… No, really! Peace-loving, friendly, gentle, kind-hearted. In other words, gay, gay, gay! I wanted to make public this thought on our way home, but I may leave my family a tad too suspicious. And I could not phrase the thought while making Irfan’s (character’s) possible homosexuality sound positive or netural…so I dropped the thought. A secret part of me was wishing that by the end of the film, his character would’ve remained single. That would’ve pretty much substantiated my belief, and I could’ve talked openly about it. But was not to be 😦

Besides, there were no gay characters in the film!

Hmm… Indian cinema still has a little further to go!

PG – The Conclusion’s Conclusion

15 Jul

Yes, so I teased a little bit in the last entry. Time to sum things up!

So, I met the nemesis. What do I think of him? And of the fears that had prevailed thus far?

Let’s examine the Pros and Cons of Dearest PG and his new-found presence in our lives.

Pro : He’s not ravishingly hot.

Con : He’s attractive.

Pro : Mom’s being very particular not to over-do hospitality, and ensure that he’s treated like a PG and not just a G(uest).

Con : He’s tall. Has a good nose (which is what mostly matters). Speaks in a distinguished manner.

Pro : He seems ultra-straight.

Con : He seems ultra-straight. (This deduction was made from the fact that he seems to like Will Smith…)

Pro : He’s not very chatty.

Con : He’s attractive.

Okay, I’ll add more to the list as I think of them.

So he came in, and I excused myself from shaking hands with him, as I was eating then. He sat with us on the lunch table, I made very minimal conversation with him, initially. He doesn’t talk very much, quite aloof actually.

Then again, he asked me what I was doing this evening. “Nothing as such,” I responded. He invited me to watch “Hancock” with him. Will Smith! Ugh!

I told him I’d have to confirm with him later, as I hadn’t slept in days, and was feeling fatigued. I hope I didn’t send out the wrong message. I insisted that I’d confirm with him as soon as I could (to convey that I wasn’t blowing him off.) Then, I dozed off and awoke much after the show had started, so apologised. He seemed to understand. Told him I’d watch it with him tomorrow. Also told Mom I’d watch some silly Hindi flick she wants to see, with dad and her tomorrow. It appears that I’m watching 2 films tomorrow.

Anyway, the final word. I was worried a little too much. But not much more than what was justified. Will he replace me? Not easily. I’m hoping he’ll leave before he can. Would I go out with him? In a trice. He has only to ask. Do I like his presence in my home? Certainly not! Would I like his presence in my bedroom? Certainly a-lot! Do I have reason to envy him? Many. Do I have reason to pity him? Not really.

Will I get over it?

Yes, I think I should pull through…

PG – The confrontation

15 Jul

Confrontation 1 – The faux

I had returned from the market with Mom after having some stuff repaired. It had taken ages. I went ahead and knocked on the door. A stranger opened.

“Hi,” I said with a dazzling smile. “Hi,” he responded.

Before I could say anything else, something confused me. He looked vaguely familiar. Had I known him from before? Some common friend? Instead of “I’m <MyName>” I instead asked him how he was, to buy a second or two. He resembled one of my dad’s employees. That’s why he was looking familiar.

“I’m fine,” he said. Shit! He was dad’s employee. “Long time,” I murmered, and scuttered away after another pleasantry or two.

Confrontation 2 – The Real One

Afternoon had passed, Ma and I had finished lunch and were moving to fruit. I heard the gate open outside. Mom noticed him pass, through the window.

“He’s come,” she said. “Go open the door for him.”

I rose and headed towards the door. I unlocked it and pulled it back to let him in.

“Hey,” I said. He came into view…

To be continued.

PG Blues – Dad chips in…

13 Jul

As I gear up to spend my last night in this hellish hole that I’ve had to call “home” for 25 days, and to which I have absolutely no attachment to at all, I sit and reflect.
While I was away, a new guy, around my age, decided to drop into the house. And stay.
Yes, yes, I’m being obsessive. But hear me out.

Half an hour ago, I was sitting idle and thought of calling up my Ma. Before I could act, she must’ve read my mind (from many miles away) as she quite beat me to it.

Ma : Hi, where are you?
Me : In my room, where else.
Ma : WHAT? You’re not at the station yet? What time is your train?!
Me : Errr… 7. Tomorrow.
Ma : Tomorrow? Aren’t you leaving tonight?
Me : No… I’m leaving tomorrow. Please tell me you knew that… OMG! Please tell me you booked me on the right day!
Ma : Errr…can you check?

I frantically look at my ticket. The date is quite correct, god bless!

Me : Ma, I don’t believe you!

Ma : I was so sure you were reaching on Monday!

I scold her a little bit. We talk a while, and I hang up.

A few moments later, dad calls. Amidst conversation, I say, “I admire you people! I leave home for a few days and you get another boy into the house!”

Dad laughed, “Oh that? Yes, your mom took us for quite a spin. We could’ve never imagined this. It’s like having another member in the family. You have competition, sonny.”

I boiled. I raged. Yes, I know he probably meant it in jest. But….. this is so not happening!

Next, my aunt will be discovering how well mannered he is in comparison to be, in the backdrop of my new rebellious self… sob!

I’m ostracised without even coming out.

PG – Fear strikes…

12 Jul

He’s (allegedly) decent looking, evidently smart (Top course in a Top DU college) and he’s probably straight and all. He now lives at my home, and I live across many oceans. Okay, I live across no ocean, but I’m far away from Delhi anyhow.

On the other hand, I’ve only ever performed mediocrely in my academics, I study in an above average institution and I’m a homosexual. I live far away. She probably doesn’t even remember much of what I look like, except when I come home for the holidays.

What if she starts developing a soft spot for him, and take him for the straight son she never had? Okay, so he smokes… but I’m gay! Sure I’m her own blood, but I don’t live with her! He does! One tends to forget these sort of things, right? Blood relation and all? It’s the distance that really counts?

No, I really am feeling very queasy now! I’ll have to call her very often, and keep reminding her that there’s a lovely son studying somewhere so that he’ll be able to buy her a Louis Vuitton bag as soon as he can. Her PG won’t ever buy her a Louis Vuitton, no matter how much success he manages in life. But will she realise that? Or will she simply allow herself to get carried away and pretend that he grew up in her lap, which is why he’s eating, sleeping, studying in the same house as I did, and is so much straighter and will get married one day and have a child, biologically his own, with tremendous ease?

If he was perverted, I wouldn’t feel so bad. I hope he’s a complete pervert!

What am I saying? Homosexuality is synonymous to perversion in this country! I know it isn’t true, but he could be a pimp, and I’d still be considered more perverted!

And I’ve been so been mean to my folks lately! It was justified, of course, by their actions… but they won’t understand that! They’ll find his appeasing gestures to be so flattering…

It seems that Mother Nature is slapping me in the face… What made them take a PG anyway? Why couldn’t they have taken in a slutty girl instead? Or even a nice one? Then my sister would’ve looked bad in front of her.

My SISTER! She probably loves him! I’m the brother she never had!

Except that I don’t care much about what she thinks. But please don’t let Mommy think that way!

Mommy… sob! I’m sorry. Please don’t like him more than you like me… ever. I promise I’ll be as good a son as I can. I really do, mom. Honest.

PG – Paying Gay?

12 Jul

So while I was away (which I still am), my folks decided that their lives were too uneventful, so they decided to keep a PG.

Okay, that’s overstating it. It so happens that a friend of a friend had a son coming to study in Delhi, and they could find no half-decent PG accomodation in the city. My folks had been considering keeping someone in one of the few bedrooms we now have vacant, but had declined earlier offers as, well, we’ve never done this sort of a thing before and aren’t too eager to. But since someone requested vehemently, Mom spent the day turning the room inside-out to make it inhabitable for this guy.

Yes, college -going-guy in my house! OMG! I only just got to know, and my mind has all sorts of contorted thoughts rushing through it. This is how god means for you to meet the one, right?

On the upside, my mom said that he’s a “smart-looking fellow… like your friend PK.” PK is a friend who I’ve mentioned before, that I had a thing for, for quite some time in my first year in college. He’s (allegedly) straight. No, he’s not ravishingly handsome… far from it. But he’s smart and witty, and seems to be, in many ways, like Ramby! (Yes, he really does Ramb!)

But then, he smokes. No, I don’t dislike smokers but… well, smokers are likely to be straight 😦

Then again, he’s a whole 2 years younger than I am, probably. So what am I even wondering so much about? It’s so not happening! Oh well, a guy’s allowed to dream, right?

I’m sooo hoping he’s ugly, dull and hideously boring. Because if he’s not, I’ll have a hard time explaining to Mom and Dad as to why I want to come home so many times during the next semester!