I really never do like visiting such websites and chatrooms. It isn’t anything less than an open secret that they’re exclusively a portal for those who seek sex and sex alone. I naturally don’t, else I wouldn’t bother engaging in endless conversation with someone at the other end of the world, right?
But it so happens that once in a while, when a person is on-line at 1 a.m. at night, and exams loom large two days ahead and there is a lot of syllabus left, a person tends to feel lonely.
That is quite how it all happened, and after many months, no doubt (that I’m exaggerating), I logged on to that forsaken Y! Chat room. Soon enough, someone sent forth a message, and we initiated conversation. He started out with “How are you” which struck a chord with me, as it was quite a welcome relief from the mundane “asl”. In retrospection, I would’ve preferred if he had opened conversation with the latter.
The fellow, with an American name, was an NRI living in the US, and in India on some work for the next 2 years. Going by my (physical) attraction towards Caucasians, we spoke for about an hour, about his work, travel and so on. He kept asking me my name and so on; I kept averting.
Hours went by. I made soup, coffee. Everything I could to keep myself awake to study. Only, I didn’t study all that much. Each time I said I had to go, he would say “Only 10 more minutes”.
He spoke noble, of wanting a good “Indian” friend. I kept telling him that I was suspicious. He kept asking me why.
The third time I voiced my doubts over his intentions, he asked me why I kept saying that. I told him that I considered the Online Gay community, on chat rooms et all, very shady and doubt-worthy.
It was then that he asked me why I kept “speaking about the gay community lol”. I very promptly told him that it was because I was gay and so was he. To which he responded that he wasn’t.
I was only about to lecture him over being in denial and things of that sort, when it dawned upon me.
“Errr… you mayn’t like to hear this, but the chat room you were in is a Gay chat room.”
Following that revelation, one would’ve thought that he’d grab his bag and run like wildfire. Did he? No, not him! He kept me there for another 10 minutes, arguing that I couldn’t be “gay” and had to be a “gurl”. That’s a totally new level of being in denial, if you ask me!
Eventually, I had to sign off and leave him gaping.
It was 3.32 am and I felt absolutely horrid. To compensate for the loss of sleep, I had to sacrifice 3 hours of precious study in the afternoon, yesterday.
As far as academics are concerned, I’ve never known anyone more suicidal than I. Yet, I never learn.
As they say…