Tag Archives: Homophobia

Victims for Life

9 Apr

The news about Prof. Siras was extremely depressing, and wholly unexpected at the time that it happened. The mystery that surrounds it is just so disturbing. If it was undoubtedly true that he took his own life, I would hardly be surprised. It is something that countless people from the community must be considering on a very regular basis.

But then, nothing is known for sure and it’s just so perplexing. Was it blatant murder or was it induced murder? And how much does it matter?

A victim of phobia, in a supposedly scholastic environment. Or was it more because it was a minority institution of that specific minority?
Either way, how safe are we, if we aren’t safe in an institute of academic learning and repute? Unsafe to the extent that we can be pushed to our end, by one way or another?

I HATE gay men!

9 Feb

So I spent literally hours on chat with this guy who randomly had me on his Chat-list… Smart, decently-spoken and a suitable candidate for a friend.

And hours into the conversation, he changes tone, attitude and pretty much everything when I refuse to “hook up”? What a royal waste of time, and even more of a waste of a human being…

Like GOD oh god, I hate the disgusting filth there exists in the world (yes, yes… revolting straight men too)

Darn It, He knows…

18 Jul

So I’ve been writing about it for quite some time now, how my pop’s surely aware of my sexuality, and being all supportive about it. Whether it would be in terms of calling Baba Ramdev a total idiot (and me Dad’s a huge yoga fanatic) to several other comments he’s passed against the homophobic lot, dad’s wearing rainbow colours for his son.

I was trying to be in denial about it all, but I think it’s starting to sink in.

Earlier at dinner today, he and mom were having another tiff. I eventually concluded, “You two are just a disaster together…”

To that he responded in a somewhat soft voice, “When you’re with your spouse, 20 years from now, you’ll know.”

“What did you say?” I asked, thinking I hadn’t heard him properly.

Turned out that I had. “You and your spouse.” SPOUSE!
Who uses the word Spouse anymore! Why not “wife”! Ohh no, it’s Spouse! And he said it both
times! I had to bow my head down to suppress my embarrassed smile.

Acceptance Begins at Home

28 Jun

I’d strategically left the news running all day, beginning from the afternoon.

Dad and I were watching, when the Pride coverage finally came on…

Dad: I should’ve been walking there instead of sitting at home… Show some support

(Needless to say, I was completely caught off guard and absolutely delighted!)

Mom: WHY? Are you homosexual??

Me: Wha! Hey, hello! They’re not all homosexuals over there… The pride is for homosexuals and supporters!

A little while later…

Dad: Sigh! It’s so much easier for them, not having to have to run after women.
Mom: Have some shame! Listen to what you’re saying in front of your son… Is this what you want to teach him? Can’t get a woman, so go after a man instead…

I kept sniggering to myself, completely scandalised (in a pleasant way) with dad’s comments.

Mom: What are you laughing at?
Me: You guys…. you’re just too much!
Mom: What do you mean??
Me: *more sniggers* Never you mind, never you mind…

Intrusive flatmates, Milky Slump

22 Mar

So I spent last night at my classmate’s flat. On our arrival, there was the casual introduction to his flat-mates. I’ve known one of them for over 2 years now, and we make casual talk around 2 times in six months. It scarcely gets very personal and most often, we only exchange pleasantries.

Last night was a total contrast, and conversation became a bit too personal, forcing me to endeavour to cut it short wherever possible. No, there were no references to sexuality or anything of the sort.
The gentleman, it seems, had read with tremendous interest my facebook tag containing 25 random things about me, which he informed me almost immediately upon my arrival. With that over, he proceeded to advise me to keep it shorter the next time. Initially, I attempted to explain to him that I was merely enjoying writing “after a long time” since I’d stopped blogging ages ago, and that I got slightly carried away. Soon after, I realised I had a better argument, and informed him that he was at complete liberty not to read my Facebook notes at all! And that those who spent unending amounts of time on facebook literally needed to get a life (albeit in subtle words, as he was in inebriated and I did not want to touch a nerve).

I must’ve moved off, feeling a dash counfounded with the interest he’d shown in my notes, and the issue came up again a few hours later. I mentioned something about myself, and he’d tell me that it was in my 25ers. I didn’t know it was in my 25ers.

It was just plain eerie, it was! I wasn’t flattered, only rather taken aback.

 

So today, I watched a full length film after a really really long time. It had to be Milk, and Milk it was. Upon completion of this film, I cannot hold against Sam his sentiments on being gay. I think it’s a huge obstacle that I face in my life, trying to survive in a society which just doesn’t want to let me. And it’s a shame that with this obstacle comes so many more.
I look at Harvey Milk’s life (through the film) and wonder that after all his actions and endeavours, what was in it for him? All the inspiring talks and speeches, the struggles and one million disappointments… what did he accomplish, as a reward for all his efforts, in terms of personal gains?
And I see nothing. 

 

Brilliant film though!

Homophobia in the Family

23 Jan

Thankfully, not mine.

So I’ve taken this addiction to Family Guy off-late, which I spend tons of my free time watching. Uptill know, the going was good. And I would have to be exaggerating if I said that I’ve started enjoying it a bit less, but as I revel in exaggeration, I will say that I’ve started liking it a bit less.

All this while, there were these Family Guy moments in which I felt that my least favourite character, Stewie, was gay. And I just watched an episode which confirms that he is not. Which is utter deception, considering all those moments in which it seemed so explicit and obvious from his scenes.
I think that it’s about time prominent adult cartoons started having mainstream gay characters. It would certainly further the gay rights movement.

Anyway, I was searching Youtube for a nice accompanying clip for any of you who haven’t watched Family Guy before (*shudder*) and found one very much in line with the theme of my post…

Yes, I know it’s in humour. I love Family Guy… I always will 🙂

Say NO to MTV (For more reasons than one)

6 Jan

Yesterday, whilst at my cousin’s, MTV Roadies (6.0) happened to be playing on TV. So this hopeful comes in. Quite like the rest, he’s totally gavaar. And a gym instructor.

Both the interviewers went off about how only gay people are into body-building, and thus the guy was gay. And the dude kept denying the allegation. Then they asked him to unclothe, and commented on how the fact that he waxed (or specifically used veet or something) his tattoo was on his back, and only visible to someone behind him, and how that was gay and yada yada yada. (In retrospection, I wonder how they know so much about hair-removal products.)
Once he’d left the room, they said in closing comments that “they were kidding and that he wasn’t gay”. Because clearly, if he was, that would be the most humiliating thing in the world, right?

I wasn’t holding the remote control, so I couldn’t help our being parked on MTV. But as a rule, I avoid that dumb-shit channel. Even though I was interviewed randomly on the street by an MTV anchor last week, and people called screaming that they saw me on air. Because frankly, MTV is trash! I suppose the only reason I did not run away when the VJ came up to us was because he was cute. But yes, MTV is trash. Though I thought Roadies was interesting.

But if Rajiv & Raghu are going to go about suggesting that there’s something wrong or embarassing about being gay, even though they otherwise pretend to be responsible and mature adults and sensitive towards respecting women and blah blah, then sorry, I don’t want them on my TV!

Video Link
http://www.mtvindia.com/roadies/videos_episodes_ep6.php

Check out “Sunny Paji…” and “Sunny Thakur – Bhagoo”

“For you, I will…”

15 Jul

An amusing conversation occurred some time ago, over Gtalk with an old friend of many many years. She (let’s call her Alika), asked me if I thought that I was “gay at some level”. I don’t quite know if I’ve mentioned Alika before. If not, allow me a mild introduction.

Alika is and has always been severely homophobic. She’s defended me vehemently if anyone ever questioned my sexuality, and denied any possibilities of my being gay at all. I have often admired women in front of her her. No, never for their anatomy. Only their faces. After all, gay men like pretty girls! So technically, I don’t think I’ve made any effort to hide my sexuality from her, at least in recent years. She has always somehow convinced herself that I’m straight, evident from the fact that she shivers at the thought of any guy being gay.

Another reason I believe I’ve never tried to hide myself is because I’ve always told her of any incident in which a guy attempted to flirt with me. Okay, only 2 such occasions, as far as I remember. And I never spoke of those incidents with disgust in my voice. The tone was very normal, and I often said that I was flattered for being appreciated, irrespective of who was doing it. I’ve often told her she should be more tolerant and asked her why she’s so phobic. I also told her that I’d sleep with a man if he paid me, like, 50 lacs of rupees. When she look scandalised, I insisted that 50 lacs were in question!

The latter of the above mentioned incidents was a few days ago. A gay guy from my school added me (the real me, no the gay me…if you know what I mean) on a social networking site. He then dropped off compliments about how “he liked my pics and I was far more photogenic than many other people”. Okay, the guy is cute but is in another country, and I’m not furthering it. Especially when our conversations are being broadcast to all my acquaintances!

I told her about it. She did her regular “Ewww… he’s probably gay” bit. I said, “He is gay!” “Sounds like it…” she said. “No, it says on his profile. He’s ‘looking for Men’ ”

“Stay away pls,” she told me. “It’s not contagious, y’know,” I ended the discussion with, and we spoke of other matters.

I won’t deny that our friendship was quite strained ever since we started living on the same campus. Ever since we started seeing more of each other, and got to know other better. We would fight almost all the time. It has bettered though, as I now limit the time I spend with her.

Anyhow, I spoke to her today 3 days after the above conversation. It started off when she told me that she did know that guy (who had complimented me); and I asked her whether he was generally very goody-goody or had been flirting with me.

“A bit of both,” she said and proceeded to how he was a nice guy, as far as she could remember.

I said that that was not unexpected as the girls liked the gays, with her as an exception of course. She jokingly (or as I assume) asked me if I liked him. I joked back saying that I loved him and was going to propose soon, and that we’d get married in California in a few months. She joked a little more, I told her about the PG guy, she joked about him and me; and then popped the question (“Are you gay at some level?”)

In accordance with my policy of not lying, I told her that I had “Never explored.” “But I’ll tell you when I get to know,” I promised. Okay, I lied a little bit.

“I better be the first one (to know),” she said (Sorry sweety, you missed that bus.) and she swore she’d be supportive. I threw her off track by commenting on this hot chick I had seen at the program, who was really attractive. I had seen a hot chick and did find her very attractive, so no lies there. Then, I left her a PS saying “You, supportive? Haha! Good joke!”

She insisted that she was serious, and I was sarcastic again about how I could totally see her being “homo-friendly”.

And then, she swore again that she would be. For me.

I told her we’d discuss it “if the situation arose.”

I really don’t know what to make of the conversation. I’m quite confused. We’re not close, she is homophobic, and we’re not the best of friends, so I would not lose out on a whole lot if I lost her. She has made consistently homophobic jokes for so many years, and she does innately despise the gays.

Does she think she’d be doing a favour by accepting me as I am? Do I want the favour of her? And do I really imagine telling her anytime soon? Big No!

I do plan to tell her though. I had it all planned. On the last time that we meet after college was over, probably once I come back home. Alone, just her and I. And I plan to thank her for all that she did for me when I was just a catepillar. She helped me to come out of my cocoon (in terms of talent and creativity). I plan to thank her for everything, and say goodbye once and for all, no matter what she says, because each time she called a homosexual “sick”, it hurt a little bit.

Now I’m wondering the plan would go as I had thought it out. Even if it does, I do still intend to meet up with her current boyfriend (my roomie at college) who, I’m positive, would be very understanding and supporitive if and when I told him.