Tag Archives: Friendship

Fun days, suspicious mums, Arbit chuntering

17 Jan

I don’t know what’s gotten into her off late, but the mother always wants to know “who are these friends” that I’m hanging around with now and then. And giving that I’m expanding, though slowly, my circle of gay friends, coming up with fake names is so trying!

Speaking of which, life is decent. I got converted into a permanent employee (albeit on probation) at work, from a trainee. And got a jazzy new phone that the co. recently released!

The weekends have been kinda eventful. All of last-to-last week was Tanuja week, and was tremendous fun! The weekend before that, I went for a most divine dimsum-lunch with a fag-friend, and today, I spent literally the entire day travelling the streets of old Bangalore with 2 very cool and very fun fag-friends, who I HOPE will be coming over to my place next weekend for more fun-gay-friend-company.

Last night, I had the strangest dream. The sister had apparently hired (or something to that extent) someone to take away all the “accessories” that I wear (which in reality is just a silver, custom-designed thing given to me by Hagatha, because I liked the design so much… which the sister hated, of course) in an effort to straighten me out. Clearly, the person she hired, in this dream, was sort of extreme, because I recall explicitly cursing her, and telling her I never wanted to see her, or speak to her again. This dream was moments before I woke up, because I recall my sleep being broken by the sound of her arguing on the phone with my dad. As I lay there in those hazy moments one experiences being woken up prematurely, I wondered if I really did hate her so much, or it was just in the dream.
Clearly, she shouldn’t be introduced to the gang of folks I had the briefest cup of coffee with last evening. A friend that I made recently was in town, and I went to meet him. He said he had some 2 friends with him, which turned out to be five. That’s five very stereotypical young gay boys, with more coming and going, sitting in a public cafe (reputed to be a gay hangout on Sundays) wearing loud clothing and bitching in a rather typical fashion about others’ fashion sense and all things young-and-gay. Boy was I uncomfortable, though occasionally amused. I’ve not been so self-conscious in a public setting with a gay person in this long.
I was too uncomfortable sitting there, that I left within 30 minutes. As my friend was seeing me off, I encountered 2 college juniors (one of whom I would’ve never recognized had I not seen him with the other) and wasn’t I thankful that I wasn’t sitting AT the table when they saw me!
So I had my gay-rista (pun on Barista) experience that I’d been so curious about, and that too from the front-seat. And I think I’m quite done with that, TYVM.

Parting Ways

8 Oct

So one third of the triangle that I’d written about a couple of months ago will board a flight, and leave for good. He was a good friend. I enjoyed the time I spent with him immensely. I cannot imagine what he must feel like, leaving a town after spending 5 formative years in it. To me, too, it’s the loss of a the best friend I’ve made here so far, my friend, my confidant.

Yes, I know he’s just a phone-call away. But the thought that I wouldn’t be able to meet him as often as I want is terribly unpleasant, and I wish I’d spent more time with him, because he’s just so much fun to be around.

As for the other third of the triangle, the one I felt so strongly for, I’ve also decided to exclude him from my life, what with how reliant I was becoming on him, and how unreceptive he has been.

So I’m deprived of two very close gay friends, possibly the only people I thought I could count on.

That’s life… People leave. Some physically, some metaphorically. But the show must go on, right?

Support Group

3 Oct

It’s extremely touching to see Hag and Hag boyfriend, more so the latter, sit your own sister down and try to explain to her that her brother’s sexuality is not his choice.

Yep, the sister holds on to her belief that my sexuality is entirely a “choice” I make with regards to who I sleep with, and is purely determined upon the basis of factors that surrounded me while I was growing up. That it’s not how I was born, and that I chose it. And that she has to accept me for a brother upon her choice.

And she also feels it unnecessary to do any kind of reading up on the subject, because she’s so convinced of her beliefs.

And hag-boyfriend attempted to convince her for hours that there were experts out there who had spent more time in researching the subjects than she had, which she should look up if she wants to understand me better. But she’s confident of her source of knowledge (which is her “value system” and beliefs)

I really don’t care enough to try and make her understand, or enlighten her in any way. But it was extremely touching to see 2 friends care so much about me to literally be at loggerheads with her, in attempt to make her look at a larger and possibly more accurate picture.

Friends truly are the family one chooses for oneself. I may or may not have the family I was born into, by my side tomorrow, but I hope I don’t do anything to lose the family that I chose for myself.

Does it get better than this?

6 Aug

These have to be among the best two-and-a-half weeks of my life! I got my first paycheck two days back, and the amount was larger than what I’d been receiving each month for my 5 months of internship, even though it was less than two-weeks salary! I have a comfortable cab pick me up in the morning and drop me home. I don’t recall the insides of a public bus, even though I probably boarded one last week. I have fun company for my meals, and good food (that I don’t have to go hunting for everyday.)
There are always people to joke around with, and talk to. I get to take coffee-breaks WITH other people, play some TableTennis or Foosball during. I have a pretty nice gym I don’t have to pay for, so that’s a lot of money saved. Basically, there’s a LOT of money saved! And the dress-code is casual, so there’s a LOT of scope for flaunting fashion (even if I don’t have any fashion sense :-S )

Oh, and I just got a new phone 🙂 A budget E-series (63) I like to call it.

To top it all off, a small victory for gay Americans today! (Why do I care at all about gay americans? I don’t really… I care about all gay people, regardless of nationality.)

I don’t know how long this optimism will last, but subsequent to this post, my guess is, not very long. Then again, maybe my time has finally come?

Dynamic geometric shapes

1 Aug

Did I ever tell you folks about this love-something-like-a-triangle I got into some months ago, here in Bengaluru? No? Well, it went like this.

I met A and B, from the website, on one fine day. Got to know later that A and B were friends since a year, and that A used to like B at some point in time, though I don’t know if it was reciprocated.

Upon interactions with A and B, I sort of fell for A. But B had fallen for me. So there we had it. B liked me, and I liked A, and A had liked B (in the past). But A and B had a falling out, and didn’t talk anymore, so it was awkward but not so much anymore.

Over time, when A would keep telling me about this guy he was into, I’d be mildly troubled but not so much. Soon, I sort of got over him, and the feelings went away.

Recently, when I was spending time at B’s, and a bit of involuntary snooping revealed an online conversation between A and B (soon after I’d met them, before A and B had the fallout) in which it was revealed that A had liked me initially, but since I had mentioned in passing that I was selective about people I ‘did it’ with, A didn’t express his feelings to me ever. Another conversation suggested that B might’ve gotten over me somewhat, though the authenticity of the emotion expressed by B was slightly uncertain.

So now I don’t feel so strongly for A, A used to like me but may or may not anymore and B said to someone else that he got over me, but I’m not so sure about that since he claims otherwise (but might be attempting mind games with me).

Puzzling as it is, all emotions are in control hopefully, and it doesn’t matter so much anymore.

How weird is that???

7 Jul

It all starts with a semi-drunk conversation with Alika, College-Roomie and Friend (If you don’t know who they are, you’re not reading my blog enough :-|) back in Bangalore when they were visiting for a day. In arbit conversation, Alika asks me if I was attracted to College-Roomie. HOW am I supposed to answer that question in the affirmative without making him uncomfortable? How is one NOT to be attracted to someone who’s attractive, with nice long hair, a toned physique…
But naturally I responded in the negative saying “Naw, he’s a friend… Doesn’t work that way…” and I thought it ended there.

A month or more later, in Delhi at a really nice place with amazing Happy Hours rates, after 4 whiskeys (and beer as a filler!) while we’re tottering around outside, roomie says “I don’t believe you were never attracted to me!”

How am I supposed to diplomatically respond to that, be honest, at the same time not seem like a gay predator and do all of that with far too much alcohol flowing through my system?
And is his behaviour expected of your average straight?

But he ISN’T an average straight.

It’s a small world!

3 Jun

Long story No. 1 short, I met someone on the networking website, we chatted on the phone a bit, met up soon after, I took him back to my terrace, we sat there talking for hours (exchanging gossip about lots of people we have in common), made out, got dirty, moved to my bedroom, got REALLY dirty, slept on the same side of the bed, he’s obsessed with me, I’m trying to keep it casual, blah blah. We talk on the phone for ages everyday.

The conversation this evening took the following turn:

Me: I’m taking your advice and walking back home from aunt’s house…

Him: Good boy!

Me: It’s 2 kilometres!

Him: That’s okay. I trekked 30 kms once in this camp I went for. I had 2 activities there… trekking and astronomy.

Me: OMG, what was this camp called?

Him: “I Discover Me”. They have lots of camps every year.

Me: OMG, I went for that too!! And I ALSO did trekking and astronomy…

*Long conversation on the activities that we’d both gone for, on our own times*

Him: We had this long night-out experience. We were out for 2 whole nights.

Me: Vaise, we might have gone within a year or two of each other… When did you go for yours?

Him: Now THAT I don’t remember…

Me: What year were you, in school?

Him: No clue!

Me: Lol! It would be so funny if we went to the same camp together!!!

Him: Do you remember anyone from your camp?

Me: Well, there was this REAAALLLYY hot guy called S*@&#@ K*#$#.

Him: DUDE, you are FREAKING me OUT!

Me: WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’re KIDDING right?




Me: I wonder if I can manage to remember you…

Him: I remember SK got very pally with this guy in camp. He was even very protective of him for some time…

Me: DUDE, that was ME! OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! What a SMALL world!!!!!!

Laying the foundation…

30 May

No updates for a whole week! What exactly HAS UsP been upto?

Well, a lot, to be honest. As we know, the last weekend and half of this week was spent in my college town. Upon return, I had to rush to work, and spend the day working because a substantial amount of work has come in. Alika and ex-roomate were transiting through Bangalore on Thursday, so in order to take yet another leave from work (the 3rd leave that week), which I absolutely did not have the courage to do, I faked a fall from the stairs on Thursday morning, and worked from home instead (all of 2 hours), and had a WHOLE lot of fun. It’s so much easier to open up to a group of people you’re out to!
At lunch that day at a nearby food court, I was walking towards my table, and this really HOT American dude passing me smiled and said “Hi!” I nearly fell in shock, but contained myself, said hello and returned to the table, sharing the story with the lot as it happened! As I lay there moping about not having carried out a full conversation with the hot-stuff, and as Alika discouraged, no, forbade me from thinking about him, guess who comes and sits next to me at the table … HOT AMERICAN GUY!

So just about the time I had offered him food (The way to a man’s heart…), asked him if I knew him from before, received a response in the negative and wondered why he was at our table, he starts talking about this “awesome guy named Jesus” and his “power to heal”. With a heavy weight on my heart, I told him that all of us were atheists, and that he was wasting his time. What I did NOT tell him was that I’d willingly believe in Jesus if Jesus would unite Hot-American-Dude and me. So I had to turn him away. I know, I know… shucks!

The day ended blissfully, we all passed out post boozing, I woke up the next morning, tied my foot in crepe and limped all day at work. By evening, I’d gotten quiet used to limping and couldn’t stop… Go figure!

Saturday was uneventful. Sunday was NOT! Thanks to beloved Rani, I bought myself some lovely discount coupons at a fancy salon and spa, and they were expiring this month-end. So the sister and I decided to make use of them. I had thought of going in for a scalp treatment to save my ailing hair, but they didn’t have it available then. So instead I settled for a Hair Spa treatment… and indulged in a deep-tissue massage.

The latter was undoubtedly the MOST awkward experience for me! I’ve never gotten one of these things before, and have only seen it on American television. Was I REALLY supposed to take all my clothes off, and lie down in just a towel? I suppose the masseuse got the hint when he offered me the (really small) towel and said I could wear it, and I asked “Just that?” and gestured towards my protective covering and asked if I really had to get rid of it all. I’ve never been entirely unclothed in a room with a fellow who was entirely dressed and have had no fellow touch me all over, except in intimate moments. But I could SO get used to it.

The massage was quite over-hyped, though. My pop gets the same thing every other week much cheaper than I did (even at 65% off). The difference was that MY massage was being administered by a CUTE north-eastern fellow with a GORGEOUS hair-do, whereas his comes from an aged, nimble man. I’d happily dish out the additional bucks any given day!

However, it’s much different from what one sees on televisions. For one, they massage your back AND your front. For another, you manage to resist from getting aroused, as you were always afraid you would in such a situation. And third, for some reason, they keep adjusting your undergarment (in this case, only-garment) every now and then, and you keep wishing they’d just pull it off altogether. Okay, I should stop talking now.

Oh, the indulgent session was followed by lunch where I left the sister even more confused and guessing about my sexuality, but came clean about the purpose of the black-bands on my wrist. She was downright shocked, but seems to have come around to the fact that people CAN indulge in carnal pleasures outside of matrimony. But come July, when we start living together, it will be time to cmoe clean.

Oh, and the sister and I found a lovely apartment together, in a nice society. Except that there’s a graveyard in front and behind the society (in the gigantic, green field out balcony overlooks). I think the sister’s going to make life difficult for me while we’re there, jumping from behind doors and making loud noises. I HATE loud noises.

Raging tempers…

8 May

So I broke off (platonic equivalent of break-up… is there a better phrase that is as compact and more established? Okay, parted ways) with old friend, Pankaj, today. This once, it was him who did the honours (block on Gtalk, delete from Facebook) and not me (and I wouldn’t succumb to those actions in this matter, which I consider trivial), and I would like to have that on record.

Anyway, it started with an argument. He read this article very fleetingly, and made an elaborate and (I feel) ill-informed opinion on it. I objected in strong words. We argued. It ended badly.

He says Kasab should’ve been shot as soon as the investigators derived from him that he had no information to offer.
[He also feels that Kasab may as well have been accommodated at the Taj, since his cost of daily up-keep would’ve probably come to the same amount of Rs. 85-lakh per day. {The figure in the news article reads Rs. 8.5 lakhs per day. As I said, he read the article in one fleeting glance. Thank you for pointing it out, Tauja!}] But I’m not saying that Rs. 8.5 lakhs is an acceptable amount either.
But that he maintains that Kasab should’ve been shot as soon as they figured out he had no more valuable information to offer, ergo without trial is worth discussing.

When celebrities or politicians are accused of any crime, and receive special treatment in their trials etc. etc. the common man is up in arms saying that they should be treated like anyone else.
So is it fair for us to deny Kasab a trial? Would that not be equivalent to denying him the rights accorded to the common man? Or should nobody be accorded a free and fair trial?
Is it healthy for us to nurture such glaring hypocrisies in our attitude? Or should we just go ahead and rewrite the constitution to accord different rights to different types of people? Or just go about making exceptions everywhere and then fighting over which exception is fair and which is not?

Are most/all of the democratic countries of the world (Please correct me if I’m wrong on this, peeps…) stupid in allowing the accused, any accused, of any crime a trial before convicting him of charges? (And the right to appeal the sentence in higher courts.) Would we be okay if tomorrow YOU weren’t allowed to appeal in a higher court? Sure, Manu Sharma would have been acquitted.
Or maybe we could just make an exception here and an exception there, and then argue over it forever?

I welcome your comments on the questions phrased above. What I do NOT welcome are comments about how the judicial system needs to be improved. Yes, the judicial system needs to be improved. The trial should’ve been completed in a matter of months and not 18. We all know that, and I’m sure we’d all agree on it too. So let’s discuss the issue that I wrote this entire post to discuss. We can discuss Judicial reforms on a later date, capisce?

Oh, and one more thing. Rs. 1,500 crore for a cricket team in a month-long intra-national cricket event. Rs. 31 crore over protecting the escape of the most dreaded criminal this country has ever set hands on, over a period of one and a half years. Am I the ONLY one who thinks the 31-crores is REALLY inconsequential here?


15 Apr
I was searching through my chat archives in order to assist me in completing a tag that BM passed on to me very long ago, when I came across some conversations with an old friend. Conversations that were just so enjoyable to read… so honest, so uninhibited. And how I wish I could make more of them.
But it takes 2 hands to clap. And the clapping can be sustained only for so long once one of the hands is bruised.
It’s difficult to let certain people go, cut them out, force them out, phase them out or be turned away. One thinks that with time, the absence becomes easy. But then, when one comes across an old email, a chat from long ago, a saved SMS (Yes, very 2010…) it seems fresh as yesterday… And the loss seems pointless.
But such is the law of the land, right? A free world, in which each has free will… and the other has no choice but to oblige.
Where’d  you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone,
“Where’d  You Go?”
– Fort Minor