this could POSSIBLY be the last time I’m coming here, though I truly hope it isn’t.
But what is it about this town that makes me have such bittersweet emotions about it? The same old streets, the same old eateries… The same roads to walk on, the same hangout points… How much am I attached to it really? What makes me think about it so?
Is it because I invested 4 of what were supposed to be the best years of my life into it? My youth? My prime?
Except that it wasn’t my youth, my prime. 4 forgettable years that I don’t want to forget.
What do I hold against this place? That I had to attend lectures? No. That I was always so confused about who my friends were? No. That I had nobody special? Maybe. No sex? Possibly, though I wish it weren’t. (Not like I’m doing anything about it now.) That subsequent batches of students, with their youth, enthusiasm and innocence make me feel old and forgotten? Possibly.
I look at the people here and I pity those who remained for the last six months, in the prime of idle-ness.
Why do I feel like I just “existed” here, and accomplished little? Why do I feel that I’ve been cheated? Why do I feel like I have failed to capitalize on what this land of zero-opportunity had to offer?
Why do I wish I could have the last 4 years of my life back, when I possibly cannot think of anything better to do with them?
As they say…