Tag Archives: Adoption

Gay Adoption – When Double Standards are good…

19 Nov

I just read an editorial on DNA that says that by allowing gay couples from abroad to be able to bear children through surrogacy here, it’s amounting to double standards since Homosexuality is banned in the same country. Though the article means well, I feel that more of such coverage would do more harm than good. I feel it’s somewhat unwise to draw attention to that fact, as it might just catch the fancy of the government, which would in turn endeavour to lay down further restraints on surrogacy programs and prohibit same-sex couples from adopting here. Yes, so this entire surrogacy program could figuratively be going on “underground” and not out in the open, but I feel that’s the only way it can exist within our boundaries, in the present context.

It is rather obvious that it is the ICMR who has so far decided the guidelines that must be followed, and obviously, would have to be more progressive to not object gay adoption, while it was in its jurisdiction. Quite the same way in which the Health Dept. would’ve struck down 377 decades ago if it had had the authority.
But trust the old goons, most of which run our country, to oppose anything that doesn’t reflect the opinion of “the people”, i.e. themselves.

Frankly, it’s wonderful that gay people have an option, and even more so that it is in this very country. Yes, so their may exist a rather important side-agenda of generating income for the donor mothers and for keeping the IVF clinics (and more importantly, the research) running, and not so much about “helping same-sex couples bear a child”, but I am not complaining! However, if it takes discreetness to keep the current state of affairs unaffected and unaltered, that’s the way it ought to be.

My little Angel, Some day we’ll be together

11 Oct

I came across this article about the same time I opened Kris’s blog to discover the same mentioned in a slew of articles on homosexuality, included in Tehelka’s next edition. Needless to say, I was fascinated with the first paragraph itself. Those very words that I have repeated time and again, over and over, were written before me; and I am not alone.

IT’S ONLY RECENTLY THAT I have felt that I could afford to bring up a child. And, since then, I have been seriously considering surrogacy, of asking a woman friend whether she would have my child. Because I do want it to be my child. I know adoption is an option but the idea of having my own baby sounds wonderful.


I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a father and I have always known I wanted a daughter.

Vinay Chandran, “Homosexuality does not preclude Paternity”, Tehelka, 18th October 2008

I remember a casual dinner with Alika some months ago. We were conversing on growing up, marriage, parenthood. As usual, I commented on how I’d probably never get married but wanted a child and would probably have one by myself. She initially must have thought that I was joking, but since I’ve said it so often, she knew that maybe at some level, I meant it. She then got all serious and said, “UP, you cannot be serious. A child needs a mother. Especially a girl.”

Of course, I have no way of convincing her that I’d be a good father, mother and everything to my own baby. But then, I don’t really need to prove anything to her. What about to myself? I could only prove it with time.

But my mind wanders. I am only a bit over 20. I have a long way to go, enormous amounts to see. Who knows what lies ahead? Who can say that one’s mind won’t change in time? That tomorrow, when I’m out there… I’ll still want a child?

And that is of what I am afraid.