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Punjabiyat et all

7 Feb

So last night, after almost 10 days of regular rehearsals, collaborating with choreographers and scolding my fellow team-mates, we delivered a massacre-ish performance of non-sensual salsa, a bit of bollywood and punjabi, at a corporate event. The last of the 3 of course, took the cake. Too many people forgot their steps, and rehearsals seemed to have been far better than the final performance. Nonetheless, I was the sssttaarrr of the performance, and quite enjoyed the compliments I received 🙂 Not to forget a video comes out soon… so yay for that too!

I think it’s pretty awesome though that in an environment where not so many are talented in anything but technology, the lesser talented (like us) get to exhibit their limited abilities with glorified appearance. In college, I never would’ve cleared an audition. Here, it was a different story. So it’s almost like I got to pick and choose my competitors, and I selected the slightly-to-significantly weaker ones, and some not weaker at all (but thank god they were in a different team :-P)

Anyhow, it’s over and it’s back to work, where everyone else is a winner, and I’m just grappling to cope. But that’s life. Hopefully, next year will come along soon enough, and we shall once again be able to set the stage on fire! And hopefully this time round, I wouldn’t be so paranoid about my height and weight, and audition for the fashion show, like so many others who were in far lesser form than I am, did.

Setting precedents… Trust? Risk?

4 Jan

Trivial as it may sound in comparison with the title, the precedent I set for the year to come was to come out to someone at work on the first day of the year.
It wasn’t random and impulsive, but possibly giving into temptation. And it wasn’t just anyone, but a certain girl with whom I’ve literally always discussed my sex life, and she’s scarcely held back in sharing details of hers.
Nontheless, it was tremendously awkward sharing the secret with someone at work, especially with a person with her temperament and candour. And though she’s tremendously open and cool, she doesn’t exhibit the intentions of wanting or having a friendship. She seems the kind of person who’d just fit into her surroundings, get along with everyone around, and thrive. Not of someone one would want to confide into, even though she confides the details of her intimate moments in me (and one other friend, she claims).

Anyhow, what’s done is done. And all she had to say is that she had “a bit of an idea” but wouldn’t ask me directly since she didn’t know how comfortable I was with the idea of people knowing.

Anyhow, what’s done is done. In a moment of temptation, I showed her the snap of the super-hot guy who made super-hot love to me last night for nearly 2 hours, without getting tired, who had to leave only because it was getting laid, else would’ve gone on and on. And with whom I’m scheduled to meet again tomorrow, and hopefully again and again and again!
Yes, I showed her his snap, and she only smiled and handed my phone back to me, acting as if she’d seen the super-hot chick she intially thought I’d laid, only saying “He’s not that hot by your standards…”

Anyhoo, everything’s weird now. I should stop acting like this is a huge deal, right?

Worthy

1 Dec

So the long, long wait ends. And it happens almost in a heartbeat, with literally no warning. To add to the heat, the customers that I’m dealing with in my first cases belong to a category that new recruits aren’t allowed to interact with for a good few months into their onboarding here!

Yesterday, I got my first case assigned. Sure, my mentor sat before me and was literally backseat driving, but at least it was a start, no? The matter was resolved too, though mostly the mentor’s doing.

Today, my team assigned me yet another possibly more complex, but certainly a much more important one in terms of the client. So much so that my mentor made no effort in openly questioning the team as to why I’d been handed such an important client. (I have no objections to his concerns, but I wish he’d be a tad diplomatic in airing them.) The client though had left work when I called him up, and asked me to get in touch tomorrow, has been emailing me since he reached home, and seems to be in a hurry to get it all done. To the extent that I’m logging on from home and interacting with him.

Feels great to finally feel of some worth around here… Here’s hoping for a fast career progression!

Hath I No Pride At All?

21 Nov

For the third year running, I’ll be giving the Queer Pride Parade next Sunday a miss. During the first, 2 years ago, I was shacked up in some horrid college campus in UP, for a summer course. Last year, I simply didn’t have the courage to attend, what with being home for the summers and having family around.

This year, there’s a weekend outing planned for us new recruits by the company, on that weekend, and we only return to town Sunday evening, hours after the queer festivities conclude.
This is unfortunate, given how effortless it would’ve been to participate this year as compared to the last 2. On the other hand, I cannot opt out of the company outing, as it is an important connect with all the batchmates, and extremely avoidable.

So I guess one’ll have to wait for Queer Pride 2011, and for once hope that nothing comes in the way…

Frustration

3 Nov

Yet again, the sheer neglect of my manager continues to make my life miserable.

So the gentleman’s been on leave for nearly 18 of the last 20 working days. So obviously he hasn’t been around to take much interest in me. Except taking out enough time to let me know that I’m working on Diwali.
What he did NOT take out time to do was register me for the Diwali lottery.

So the Diwali lottery is this week-long event held at our workplace for all the employees who are working the entire Diwali week. Everyday, for 5 days, lots and lots of names are drawn to be awarded cash prizes ranging from decent to exorbitant denominations. Regardless of whether or not one wins in the lottery, everyone gets a bonus 3k for working that week. That is, if that person is registered, and is working the entire Diwali week.

Since the batch of new recruits joined recently, we were all confused about whether or not we were eligible to participate under our Trainee contract. Nonetheless, for all of my fellow-recruits who had not applied for leave on Diwali, were registered for the draw by their managers. Except me, of course. And the manager himself is on leave, the entire week, while I sit and do nothing important because he has taken very little interest in my training.

Just yesterday, one of the co-recruits won an amount nearly equal to our monthly pay! Lots of others won smaller amounts, and will continue to do so this entire week, and will continue to discuss it during breakfast and dinner. And even if they don’t, they’ll at least walk away with the gratitude amount of 3k.
Except me of course. Because my manager continues to pretend that I’m nothing more in my team of 7 than someone to say Hello to while passing my table.

Employee satisfaction could scarcely go as low as it has with me, at this very moment.

Powerless. Stagnation.

22 Oct

This is the exact sort of feeling that costs me mental peace. I feel so utterly useless, and as if I just don’t belong in an environment to which I am not contributing constructively and significantly.

It could be a conversation. I detest being in a group of people in which I am not an active part of the conversation.
It could be a situation. A party, an event or anything at all in which I’m not bringing something to the table.

But most importantly and most relevantly, it is an organization.
I hate being a “trainee”. I hate coming to my desk, sitting and blankly reading tons of study material, most of which is just bloody obvious or seems pointless at the time, when the organization could actually be utilizing me. But they are not, simply because they don’t have the time to, or because they simply cannot understand that I’m HERE and I’m READY and I’m no ordinary bloke who needs __ amount of time before he’s ready to work. I hate that they hand me a book and say “read it and get an idea” just to keep me off their hands a little while longer.
I hate that my other co-recruits, who have spent as much here as me, are already working on the floor, and will be earning extra bucks while working during Diwali (because they’re already under utilization) but I will not (be earning the extra bucks, even though I’ll be “working”).

This is what I’m missing about that stupid small company in which I’d interned. At the end of Day 1 (an entire day that I sat reading a stupid book, wishing I’d be given something to do) I was handed over to a team, given a task (which they were quite sure I wouldn’t complete anytime soon, or without significant assisstance, but could probably play around with till they could find another person to help me out) but within 2 weeks, I’d accomplish the few goals they had given me, and they gave me more. Soon enough, the entire work was done, and I was left hungry for more work. Eventually, they were so delighted with the work done that no other resource was assigned, and I presented my module to the clients and the various other teams that worked on it. And though I may feel I only utilized 30% of my entire time there properly, they got more than they would have wanted and were quite satisfied.

Time has passed and all the frustrations I experienced whilst there are partially forgotten. All I can remember is how good I felt about myself when I left work late, because work had kept me. I remember how some of the team members looked at me in awe because of what I’d managed in the time that I had, as a fresher out of college. I remember the occasions on which my manager and team lead would start banging my back screaming “Well done! Well done!” whenever I accomplished something minor, and I couldn’t figure out what the fuss was about, especially since more complicated tasks accomplished would practically pass unnoticed.

I’m so frustrated that I’ve been here 3 months, of which I feel at least 2 were a complete waste of my time and abilities. And even though I’m part of a wonderful company as a whole, I hate this stupid work environment, and I simply cannot wait to get out of it.

Vacillation

19 Oct

I love my job. The pay isn’t unimaginable but it’s quite fabulous for an Engineering graduate. It’s easily among the highest being paid in my batch, if not the highest.

I hate my job. I go to work when everyone else is going home. I return in the wee hours of the morning. It’s weird.

I love my job. I have a comfortable cab pick me up from the doorstep. I don’t even need to wait outside. They call when the cab has reached, I lock up and leave. No hectic travel required.

I hate my job. I spend EVERY Friday evening at work, when everyone else is screaming TGIF and heading out.

I love my job. Free cokes, coffee (delicious too), tea, cold coffee, iced tea, subsidized food. Table Tennis, Foosball, Carrom, Pool, Billiards, XBox (NONE of which I ever use :-/)

I hate my job. No Indian holidays! All compensatory offs on days when everyone else is working. What’s the bloody point!

I love my job. VERY respectable brand-name.

I hate my job. Not a very respectable job title, even though the work is pretty advanced.

I love my job. Possible opportunities to move abroad within the company.

I hate my job. My specific team’s role doesn’t seem to have much scope for the above.

I love my job. FAST internet at work, Facebook, Youtube, WordPress… nothing blocked (but restraint must be exercised)

I hate my job. My team seems to be mostly dull 😦

I love my job. Free, well-equipped gym with a good trainer.

I hate my job. I FEEL TRAPPED HERE!

Workspace

5 Oct

So I finally got my own workstation today… my own desk. Three empty drawers and one large closed shelf, lots of pinboard space, a whiteboard to sketch on, and an amazing amount of deskspace (until the second computer comes along).

It’s ironic that the manager and the trainee have exact replicas for desks, even if theirs are located in a more private space.

Anyhow, that’s a lot of area to customize! Any ideas?
The first that comes to mind is lucky bamboo, which unfortunately isn’t unique… too many others have it already…

And NO, nothing that reflects my “identity” (too obviously anyway :-S)

Oh, and I may just get off an entire week in December 🙂
Of course, I will be working on Diwali.

Lousy Day

9 Sep

Today has to be my worst day at work.
To begin with, tomorrow was supposed to be a holiday, one of the 10 declared annual holidays, as per govt. rules. Given that my office provides support functions to US-based clients, naturally the company cannot shut doors for the entire day, so most people work on those holidays and take compensatory leaves on other days.
I, on the other hand, am a trainee who isn’t interacting with clients yet. Nor do I have any training sessions to attend. I sit here and study all day, and then go home. Why then am I being denied a holiday tomorrow? In the manager’s words… “Holiday? Why? You have a girlfriend? No? Then hang out with all your boyfriends here… No need for a holiday.”
Now he’s generally a nice fellow from my interactions with him so far, but this I’m not going to forget if I can help it… It’s completely unjustified to assume that I have no life outside of this stupid office. And NO, I’m NOT going to reason for a holiday that is rightfully mine.
This may be a great place to work, but this has certainly taken a huge hit at my loyalty towards the company.

If that isn’t enough, the fellow-recruit who I was having my meals with so far, by virtue of us being the only ones in close physically proximity, in spite of being in different teams, gave me a most unceremonious goodbye. I knew it was a matter of time before either of us shifted loyalties to our own teams for breaks, but I assumed it would’ve happened with some courtesy. She, instead thought it appropriate to inform me after her dinner, that she’d eaten with them, and that she’d “smsed” me but it got “stuck in the inbox”. Because it’s apparently impossible to stop en route to the cafeteria, and let me know in person. Or make a phonecall, instead of an SMS.

Damn mad, I am, which makes it all the harder to concentrate on bloody annoying textbooks.

Bad Manners

30 Aug

is to leave the blog unattended for so long!

Yes, I’ve probably lost most of me readers, though they’ll check back once in a while. But not if I continue posting at this rate!

It’s not that I haven’t anything to write about, or have little time. Okay, maybe I haven’t so much time. But one has to take out time, right?

So work is moving slow. Still studying a fat text book. Got an exam in 2 days, haven’t revised nothing! Spent the entire weekend doing nothing constructive, and must suffer the consequences in the time to come. Got all the questions that are likely to be asked compiled in a file, and too lazy to open it and read it! What I DID do was sit and imagine what I could do with my income in the months to come. As if one can do a lot. As if there’s a lot of income. I’m a friggin’ trainee. I JUST got my first complete salary 2 days back. Yet I’m thinking of taking a loan and buying an apartment, post sister’s wedding and expenditures. IS there a bigger loser than me?

On the romance-scene, I’m trying to detach myself from Nimit, who only seems to have time for me on gTalk. Besides, if I’m not going to come clean to him, and nor is he, why bother?
What I AM doing to pull myself out of that is an attempt to line myself up with 2-3 people to meet in the weeks to come. One is tentatively scheduled for Wednesday, another tomorrow morning (of a carnal nature) and a third dude, who lives in the neighbourhood and works in the building adjacent to mine, I’m attempting to spend time with at work itself (though I think he’s been posted to a different office for a few weeks. Nevermind, we’ll meet at home.)

My stomach had begun expanding again, and the little muscle mass I had put on was beginning to fade, so I’m in damage control mode on that front. The gym instructor enlightened me that my entire way of doing push-ups was wrong. Every new gym I go to, they find something to correct. I really wish I could push all gym instructors into one gym and make them decide!
(Though my push-up technique WAS wrong, it was obvious. Whatever has to be accomplished, I find an easier way to do it.)

That’s all for now. Will try to be more regular. And if I can just manage a LITTLE bit of time, I look FORWARD to coming back to your blogs and reading them. I SHUDDER to imagine the backlog I have at the moment!