Never thought I’d run into him so randomly. Sure I’ve tried putting myself in his path on occasions, hoping to run into him with no idea of what I’d say when I did, but I never thought it would happen when I was not expecting it. Or maybe I did think that it would happen when I was not expecting it, but then every other day is one of the days, and I didn’t think today would be the day.
At first, I instinctively nodded, smiled and tried to walk on. But since he seemed to want to talk, I paused, and conversed. I wonder if he could see that I was feeling awkward. I wonder if he could sense my uneasiness. Suddenly, the person that I’d spend my best 6 months of this year, was the most difficult to talk to. And why wouldn’t it be, because we weren’t snuggling in his bed and talking, as I’d grown accustomed to. Last I could recall us speaking was 2 months ago, when I had asked him to go for a play with me, he had said that he didn’t want to watch it, then I’d found out that he’d gone and watched it anyway, and he lied to me about it when I tried to discretely question him about it. And then there was the briefest RSVP when I invited him to the wedding, and then nothing.
And here I was, wondering what the hell to talk to him about, while waiting for the queue to walk on. In fact, I started rambling about his travels that had happened so long ago, and those that are to happen months later (and have no consequence at present) but I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about, so I rambled.
Eventually, we did go our own ways. He said “I’ll call you sometime this week”, but I really hope he doesn’t. I just wouldn’t know what to say.
And here I am, shaken enough to actually blog about it, while constantly reminding myself that it’s over and done with, and I’m past it, and I’m just being dramatic.
But my best 6 months of the year…