Looking back…

19 Sep

I can’t imagine why I’m not blogging so frequently anymore. And why I’m not reading either. There’s absolutely no excuse! (Maybe once I get my own terminal at work?)

Excuses, excuses, excuses… Has anyone here ever told me how disgustingly full of excuses I am?
(My mother does it all the time, but whoever listens to one’s own mother???)

So I was going through my archives. For some reason, when I was down in the dumps yesterday, head over heals about umm… Suraj… I turned to my archives for some sort of solace. Why? I thought that maybe if I read my posts and come across similar instances, I’ll realize how I’ve been through this before, and that this crazy yearning goes away in time.
Well, I’m yet to come across appropriate posts, because I’ve only read one month’s worth (GEEZ, I whined a lot!).

One observation was that I was less pessimistic when I started out. The pessimism just grew and grew. How could blogging do that to me? Should’ve worked the other way round :-S

One most interesting observation was in a post dated 11th June 2008, which said that Bangalore has more gay parties than Delhi does.
And that I’d love to land up in Bangalore soon for an internship or something so that I could attend one.

Lo Behold! 8 months ago, that’s EXACTLY what happened! But did I attend parties during that internship? No, I did not. Why?

I told myself that I wasn’t making enough money to afford the travel, entry, booze yada yada yada.

Lo Behold! 2 months ago, I began making MORE than enough money to do ALL those things above!
In fact, last night during the Great Depression of September 2010, I felt extremely tempted to just get up, get dressed and head to the party nearby, and I still did not. SHAME on me. I said I’d do it next week.

Now I don’t know if I’ll manage next week, since Tanuja’s in town. So I’m POSITIVELY going the week after. It’s another matter that I hope Suraj attends the same, since he mentions attending them once a month or so. 😛

Also, I absolutely HAVE to attend the Support-Group meeting this Thursday! It’s the only Thursday I may be getting off in a long time, hence may not be able to get an opportunity to attend it anytime soon.
I went for one support-group meet a few months ago, while I was interning. Again, told myself I didn’t make enough money to do the night-travel (hiked auto-fares!), but as of 2 months ago, I CAN!

ENOUGH excuses.
The more examples I come across while going through the rest of my blog archives, which I hope I’ll complete till date, I HAVE to start delivering on my pledges!

One pledge I cannot deliver on was last year’s New Years resolution of spending it at Goa. Did you know it can cost anything close to 40-50 thou’s to spend the shortest time through New Year’s there??? No, let’s leave that for next year!

Oh wait a minute… Do I even GET New Years off? :-O

To finish the post with good news, Tanuja was finally asked out by the guy she’s been chasing across oceans for months now! Yay for her 😀 ALL my hags are officially committed. ALL of them!

6 Responses to “Looking back…”

  1. Ian at 2:59 am #

    I often look back through my archives to get some inspiration for future posts.
    I also look back to see how I was feeling at the time, to compare my mindset to then and now.

  2. Dean Grey at 12:47 pm #

    Blogging should be organic….a lot like life!

    So naturally there will be stages where you’re more pessimistic than others and when you blog more frequently or less often.

    The main thing is that you stick with it and keep blogging!


  3. prr at 3:08 am #

    stepping stones, eh?

  4. Pesto Sauce at 12:25 pm #

    I too read my old posts at times, can be reflective

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