25 May

this could POSSIBLY be the last time I’m coming here, though I truly hope it isn’t.

But what is it about this town that makes me have such bittersweet emotions about it? The same old streets, the same old eateries… The same roads to walk on, the same hangout points… How much am I attached to it really? What makes me think about it so?

Is it because I invested 4 of what were supposed to be the best years of my life into it? My youth? My prime?

Except that it wasn’t my youth, my prime. 4 forgettable years that I don’t want to forget.

What do I hold against this place? That I had to attend lectures? No. That I was always so confused about who my friends were? No. That I had nobody special? Maybe. No sex? Possibly, though I wish it weren’t. (Not like I’m doing anything about it now.) That subsequent batches of students, with their youth, enthusiasm and innocence make me feel old and forgotten? Possibly.

I look at the people here and I pity those who remained for the last six months, in the prime of idle-ness.

Why do I feel like I just “existed” here, and accomplished little? Why do I feel that I’ve been cheated? Why do I feel like I have failed to capitalize on what this land of zero-opportunity had to offer?

Why do I wish I could have the last 4 years of my life back, when I possibly cannot think of anything better to do with them?


13 Responses to “Departure…”

  1. Rani May 25, 2010 at 6:47 pm #

    why are goodbyes always so difficult, irrespective of whether its a person, a place or a feeling…
    I hate goodbyes ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    (and for a moment, i though u were leaving B’lore without meeting me!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

    • unsungpsalm May 30, 2010 at 11:44 am #

      I am leaving Bangalore soon, so we should meet!

  2. chinkurli May 27, 2010 at 7:40 am #

    Because we always believe that we could have done something better (everything better) without having any concerete ideas about it ๐Ÿ™‚ Bittersweet goodbyes…sigh.

    • chinkurli May 27, 2010 at 7:41 am #

      oh and I hope your roomie/roomie-brother problems got sorted out ๐Ÿ™‚

      • unsungpsalm May 30, 2010 at 5:03 pm #

        Oh, completely! They moved out, and took a lot of our stuff with them ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        • chinkurli June 5, 2010 at 9:00 pm #

          damn. I hope they lose whatever it is they stole from you!

          • unsungpsalm June 10, 2010 at 8:25 pm #

            Haha! That’s sweet ๐Ÿ™‚

            He returned it, actually. We made him!

  3. Alan May 28, 2010 at 8:35 am #

    11 years ago, I left my little college town – it is a little town isolated from the rest of the world, bordering a desert – in the middle of no where. There was only email then, it was before Google – before blogs, mobile phones and social networks. I have never seen as beautiful star light anywhere else – and I only am in touch with 5 dear people from then – they are part of my family today. The rest of them have all disappeared! I still remember crying the night I left.

    • unsungpsalm May 30, 2010 at 5:04 pm #

      That sounds somewhat lousy, Alan (saying goodbye)… Did you never go back?

      • Alan May 31, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

        Have always intended to go back – but never managed to – but will definitely for the 25 years reunion, (which is still 15 years away). I cherish the time I spent there – and am somewhat scared to go back and find everything different – especially without all the same friends.

        • unsungpsalm June 1, 2010 at 7:49 am #

          Haha! 15 years down the line?
          Make a trip to that town WITH your friends, if you can snatch some time out of your schedule…
          Say, only 10 years out of college? You’re pretty young ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Papa Hen June 5, 2010 at 7:50 pm #

    Don’t worry let a year or two pass by– you’ll look at these 4 years as among the most enjoyable in your life– all the irritants would be forgotten or even they would be remembered fondly.

    • unsungpsalm June 10, 2010 at 8:26 pm #

      Oh, I’m already looking back at them as if they took place really long ago…

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