Cookie Rookie

28 Jan

So the guy who sits next to me at work sure is a friendly fellow. I didn’t know his name till yesterday, but he seems to have known me since the time I joined, and probably seeks to find company in me, since he’s new at the office as well. The only difference is that I’d be very difficult company for him (which I hope he realized today)…

It so happens that each time someone offers him a tidbit of a snack, he’ll promptly call out to me and offer me a fraction of it. It’s all very sweet of him, but when he offers me a fraction of a minuscule, I feel a bit rotten accepting it. After humbly accepting two of his offerings, I learn that turning him down would amount to offending him, as I am to discover one day

Him: Unsung… (offering me a fragment of chikki)
Me: Oh, none for me, thanks (flashing a smile)
Him: (Looking offended. No, shocked!) You don’t like?
Me: (Taken aback) No, err… I’m…. umm, allergic to peanuts!

So that’s that. I can never have peanuts in office. Which is a shame, since I love peanuts!

When I tell my sister about my immediate neighbor, she ticks me off for being rude and so on. Incidentally, she’d returned from another city yesterday and had gotten some cookies from there, apparently a specialty. So she packs some in my lunch box this morning, and hands them to me, reminding me to “offer him some”.

I agree and promise to make an attempt. When I finally decide that the the time is appropriate to share some cookies, I hesitate to take his name. So (what I’m assuming is) his first name reads (say) Ravi_________, where the _______ denotes a phrase I would need excessive training to be able to enunciate correctly. Surely “Ravi” is sufficient, right? What if it isn’t? Would I end up offending him altogether?
I place the biscuits back and abort mission.

Later in the evening, I hear my name being called again… This time, he’s offering something I’ve simply never seen before, which looks a bit too oily for my taste. I politely turn him down. This time, he doesn’t even ask, “You don’t like?”
Did I offend him? It was never my intention.

I hastily take out the box of cookies, open it, call out “Ravi” (thankfully, he responds) and offer him one, explaining that their origin et all. He proceeds to break one into half, and I insist that he have the whole thing. He promptly gets up, and offers half of it to the person in the next cubicle. Talk about sharing!

My small gesture seems to have opened a floodgate. A mostly one-sided conversation ensues, since I can’t imagine what I would talk to him about. Most of what he asks me, I have to get him to repeat once or twice, courtesy his strong regional accent. As for any casual comments he makes, I just smile and nod, lest he think I’m completely deaf!
He asks me about my educational background. Post my response, he proceeds to compare me with “Chuytan Bugt” and asks me if I know him. I confidently respond in negative, quite sure that I’m not familiar with anyone by that name. Then he talks about his brilliant work, “5 Point Someone” and, realizing my blunder, I hastily put in that I do indeed know Chetan Bhagat, though I haven’t read any of his books. He, on the other hand, is a gigantic fan, especially of “2 States”. Go figure!

He proceeds to speak in awe of the “celebrated” author, and I can’t help but recall how severely Bhagat has been criticized by my peers. He then seems fixated on how I talk exactly like Bhagat. I apologize that I wouldn’t know since I’ve never heard Chetan talk ever. He then calls Chetan Bhagat a genius, and for some goddamn reason adds, “Just like you”. Like heellooo!! Where did that come from?? Maybe we’re reading too much into the occasional compliment from my team head, don’t you think so? What will he be comparing me to the Mahatma next?? I politely disagree, and bring the conversation to a desperately needed conclusion.
For once, I’m actually a bit disturbed, and not flattered!

These 6 months sure aren’t going to be a breeze!

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17 Responses to “Cookie Rookie”

  1. H January 29, 2010 at 1:11 am #

    Aww! Someone’s got a man crush-er (?)
    And,”courtesy his strong regional accent”
    Hehe You bitchy boy πŸ˜›

    • unsungpsalm January 30, 2010 at 12:41 am #

      Haw, I try so hard to be diplomatic :O

      • H January 30, 2010 at 11:05 am #

        Sure you do. πŸ˜›

  2. Firebolt January 29, 2010 at 1:43 am #

    If someone were to compare me to Chuytan Bugt, I likely wouldn’t take it well. I detest him, much like I detest Twilight and stupid sparkly stalker vampires.

  3. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper January 29, 2010 at 2:34 am #

    Welcome to office life, bitch!

    This is why I quit working!!

    Someone once compared me to Jay Leno!Leno! You can imagine my consternation! That guy hasn’t been funny since his first knock/knock joke in 1965.

    But, you, my friend are a Chuytan. And once a Chuytan, always a Chuytan.

    • unsungpsalm January 30, 2010 at 12:42 am #

      Oh, shoo… Learn how to make a guy feel rotten from you!

      (Sorry, very high on beer :P)

  4. vimesh January 29, 2010 at 4:40 am #

    Office Office… is this guy a vegetarian ,i bet he should be ..if yes offer him some chicken lollipops and then see what happens !! he will not see Chuytan Bugt in you he would see something else… and the imposed sharing would disappear..

    or for the next 6 months i think u should just hang the ” All are welcome sign board to your lunchbox”

    and when he tells ,that u remind him of Chuytan Bugt.. tell him he resembles Chatur Ramalingam of 3 idiots…

  5. Nova January 29, 2010 at 8:14 am #

    Hahahhaha hey come on!!! Give the poor guy a break! πŸ™‚ He may be another Chatur for all u know πŸ˜‰

    • unsungpsalm January 30, 2010 at 12:42 am #

      Woah! Everyone’s on a 3Idiots High πŸ˜›

  6. D January 29, 2010 at 12:07 pm #

    The poor chap is probably just seeking approval – yours and everyone else’s around him. And that’s what makes him so irritating, I’m guessing.

    • unsungpsalm January 30, 2010 at 12:43 am #

      Why seek approval of a 6 month intern, I ask :-S

  7. BlueMist January 29, 2010 at 4:20 pm #

    Ah USP is back with office spice. πŸ˜› May be he genuinely likes you USP with all your blue eyes…errr..contact lens and all. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

    • unsungpsalm January 30, 2010 at 12:43 am #

      ;P
      It’s been ages since I wore those, btw! Should check them out!

  8. Pesto Sauce January 31, 2010 at 10:22 pm #

    Be careful of this guy, looks creepy

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