Sexually Confused

15 Jan

Right, so sometimes I tell myself that I’m really missing out big time by not having a circle, or even just a few gay friends to hang out with all the time and completely be open and myself, check out guys in public (though that’s DAMN hard in B’lore 😦 ) and so on and so forth…

Yet, all day today, I spent with a (homophobic) college friend and some other seniors (who I’ve never met before), went lunching, afternoon wine-drinking, dining with them, wrapped up the evening with a chick from school, and had a good day-off! (Happy Makar Sakranti, folks πŸ™‚ )
So if I can have such a good time with straight folks (not being myself), how much am I missing out really?

Maybe I’m deceiving myself. Maybe I just enjoyed making attempts to and succeeding in “fitting in” and feeling proud of myself for it, and THAT made my day. SO confused!

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m too short on time for not being able to hang out with gay friends and straight friends alike. Just the way I felt that I was too short on time to not be able to graduate in 3-4 disciplines πŸ™‚

Yes folks, Unsung wants EVERYTHING in life, no matter what!

Anyway, work tomorrow (and weekend after!)


13 Responses to “Sexually Confused”

  1. vimesh January 15, 2010 at 5:06 am #

    Oh !! do not worry you would get your fair share of friend both gay and straight to hang around…but don’t u think Bangalore is bit conservative or is it you have not yet discovered the scene πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    and on not being your self, All are us have a variety of masks that each of us wears daily. These may be the identities that have been given to us, or ones that we have assumed over time.

    As long as we recognize that what we wear is a mask we all are right. But when the mask becomes the seeming reality for us, then our troubles begin.

    Masks can help us build our own defenses for the time we need them. so even though you have to act ,not your natural self, in front of your homophobic friends or your colleagues its the only respite for the time being..i guess

    have a great weekend πŸ™‚

    • unsungpsalm January 15, 2010 at 8:01 am #

      That’s very sound advice, Vimesh πŸ™‚

  2. H January 15, 2010 at 10:24 am #

    I don’t think having a gay circle of friends only is any kind of solution.
    You obviously don’t look at sexuality before befriending someone, right?
    Also, maybe hanging out with homophobes might not be the best idea but accepting heteros can be lots of fun as well πŸ˜€

    So having gay friends is good but it all depends on what kind of person they are, regardless of sexual orientation. πŸ™‚

    How’s B’lore?
    Hot guys?

  3. D January 15, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    I may be totally off the mark here, but there’ more to life than our sexuality (?) and that’s why you can have a good time with people who are straight and who do not know that you’re gay.

  4. BlueMist January 15, 2010 at 3:40 pm #

    Does sexuality really matters when one has good time ? A good time had is always good time no matter if it is company of gay friends or straight friends. No ?

  5. DewdropDream January 15, 2010 at 3:46 pm #

    ‘Fraid I agree with D here. I mean, if us heteros were to go about this way, we’d be looking to make friends with erm, potential partners? I don’t think friendships work that way though. Sure, it would be good to hang out with similar people and be a lot more open, but for all you know, it mightn’t be so hunky dory.

  6. unsungpsalm January 15, 2010 at 9:01 pm #

    Naw naw naw! You guys get me completely wrong! I in no way dislike straight company… I just want gay company too! It’s a very different sort of interaction… And I want BOTH, and I tend to think there isn’t enough time in my life to be committed to both circles…

    • Rakesh January 15, 2010 at 10:57 pm #

      You’ll get enough gay company. Once all the straight friends get married and have kids, and there aren’t many topics of commonality between you and them, a sort of distance automatically develops. And you will find yourself spending more time with gay men.

      • H January 16, 2010 at 12:21 am #

        I understand now.
        I want sum’n like that as well.
        Yeah, I guess having both is ideal.
        Ah well, c’est la vie.

      • unsungpsalm January 16, 2010 at 10:33 am #

        That… doesn’t sound like much of a choice 😦

  7. Pesto Sauce January 22, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    I am sure there would be many gays in B’lore, you need to come out for them. Some guys are real dark and tall, have a great time!!

    • unsungpsalm January 22, 2010 at 11:26 pm #

      So far, I’m not impressed 😦

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