Different People

28 Oct

In High School, there were times when she renounced comforts to live in deplorable conditions. Even in those situations, she found reason to cheer. Whatever the adversities she faced, she took them head on, with a smile.

In High School, he always struggled to stay in his comfort zone. He didn’t know what he wanted, and the little inkling he had, he never pursued. He didn’t have the courage, or he simply thought he wouldn’t succeed. He thought injustice was being done unto him. It was, but by himself alone.
He thought that maybe in time and with a change of environment, he’d find more happiness… He did… and he wanted more…

In college, she found avenues, she forged friendships. She worked during the days, sacrificed some evenings, enjoyed the rest. She set targets, she worked towards them. She worked with optimism and dedication. In whatever she accomplished, he found satisfaction.

In college, he cursed that he had chosen the wrong path. He forged friendships that were valuable and he wanted more. When he thought he had enough, he wanted fewer and better friendships. It took him years to return to square one, and then he wanted more. The cycle would begin all over again.
He had the occasional triumph, he thought he could’ve done better. When he succeeded, he trivialized it. Then he would be morose.
He had moments of joy, many moments of joy, but he kept wondering if others were having even more. And he wanted more.
He thought that maybe a change of environment would do him good. He sought to escape, escape from his present and his past. He sought a new beginning when what he had had all along wasn’t so bad at all…

She reached out for every opportunity, she used every resource. She accomplished. She worked, it bore fruit. One day, she opened her inbox and found an acceptance letter. An even brighter future awaited her. She experienced infinite joy. She went out to celebrate. To drink and to make merry.
She wanted to share the moment with those who she considered closest to her. At half past then, when he was about to retire, she asked him to join her.

He was overjoyed for her. It wasn’t how he had planned his evening, and he was about to retire to bed, but he couldn’t say no. He set out to join her, and he entered with a smile and a laugh plastered on his face. He hugged her, danced a bit.
There were many others there; all were singing, drinking, celebrating. Maybe not celebrating any achievements, but simply celebrating life and Today.
He couldn’t find it in himself to enjoy. “Maybe if I had been drinking all evening too. Maybe if I had come sooner. Maybe if… Maybe…” Tomorrow, he’ll set out on another destination unknown. He doesn’t know where it’ll lead him, but he wonders if he’ll find the happiness that he did over here. Even if he does, he’ll yearn to have these days back again. But he won’t make use of the time he has left.
He knows that he has to change his ways, and he tries. He succeeds for a while, but then his inner self takes over. There’s an inner self that is stronger than one’s will-power. Or at least his will-power.

Some people are born winners. They take each victory in stride, and work towards another feat to celebrate. They undoubtedly go far in life, and relish every moment of it that they can.

Some are born losers. They dismiss the smallest of accomplishments and always wonder “What if…” Sheer escapists. They realize the error in their ways, but remain incorrigible nonetheless.
They think that everything that’s wrong in their lives is a small sacrifice for a better future. But the sacrifices keep coming, and the better future never seems to loom. They have ample opportunity to find joy in their lives, but they cannot reach out. They hold the key to happiness but they cannot find the door, even if it’s before their very eyes.

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