The “Nature” of Suicide

9 Aug

[Please read this post all the way till the end before dropping a comment]

A recent post on Pesto Sauce’s blog got me thinking. About suicide.

I’m not suicidal. I’ve never attempted to kill myself, and am frankly petrified at the very thought of attempting it (particularly the thought of the pain one would have to subject oneself to, whatever the mode of suicide was to be, before one’s body would give in.)
But it’s that lack of suicidal trait in me that makes me step back and not judge someone who is.

Confused?

Think of it this way. Lots of people say that being gay is being mentally sick. That it’s because an individual went astray, became perverted or corrupted by temptation or western civilization. Yet, several of us have never known heterosexuality, or what it’s like to be straight or “normal” and would associate with our sexuality from ever since we can remember, but those people who think we’re mentally sick, and do not know that this is how we were born would not be convinced of the same unless they went through it themselves. Frankly, I doubt that even the straight people reading this blog firmly acknowledge or believe that sexuality is something that we were born with, however open-minded, accepting and encouraging you are.
My point is that only a gay person can truly know what goes on in the mind of a gay person.

Hence, only a suicidal person can know what really goes on inside his head, and everybody else is simply jumping to unwarranted conclusions when they say that suicide is cowardice.
What if suicide is comforting? What if death brings bliss? Why should we deny a person his right to what makes him happy?

Back in my school years, there was simply nothing that I had to look forward to (except maybe the next summer vacations… a month or two away from school). I was extremely depressed and pessimistic. I often went to sleep with the comforting thoughts of dying and being liberated from my insipid existance. Today, life is much better but the thought of death brings tremendous comfort. The thought that I wouldn’t have to wake up another day and face a million other challenges.
Challenges are not exciting when you face them alone… not to everyone. Not everybody has something or the other to look forward to. Some live life because they have to, taking each day as it comes with no concrete plan or expectations. When they get tired, they take a blissful moment and think about death, liberation.ย Moksha.

Thus, when I hear of people who attempt to commit suicide, I do not jump at calling them cowards. Maybe some of them are. But I cannot generalize. Because I’m not suicidal myself, I do not know what goes on in the mind of someone who is. Hence, I cannot draw a just judgement. Just the way that someone who isn’t gay is likely to come to an inaccurate judgement of my “condition”.

I could extend the same train of thought to the case of paedophiles. It is another classic group of people that we’re all too quick to condemn. However, attraction (including sexual attraction) is natural, right? We cannot contain it. Some people cannot help being attracted to people of the opposite sex, some others cannot control their attraction to members of the same sex.
Maybe it’s quite the same way that some men (and maybe women) are attracted to people who are extremely young of either sex. Maybe the feeling is completely natural. I do not know, because I do not have those emotions within me, so I cannot jump to conclusions on those individuals, unless I was in their shoes.
So does that vindicate paedophilia? According to my dictionary, it might, because my dictionary defines paedophilia as “A sexual attraction to children”, and for all we know, this attraction may be in their nature. But does it justify a person forcing him or herself onto a child because of his something that is possibly innate?

It does not. Because it causes harm to someone else. To the child, who is not emotionally mature enough to express consent, or is never asked for it. Paedophilia may not be wrong but acting on it must be condemned because it harms someone else.

Quite the same way, I feel that suicidal tendencies may not be wrong because we do not know what the person with those inclinations is having to face in life. We may not know what are his or her reasons behind wanting to call it a day. For all we know, they may want to commit suicide because the thought of it makes them happy but if the act would bring grief to anyone who is close to the individual contemplating suicide, then that may amount to causing harm to another, and is a factor that must be resolved before any such act, between all the people involved.

Many are quick to say that suicide is an act of cowardice. I think it is cowardly to jump to conclusions about someone else’s life or character without trying to understand it.
Many proudly say that life is beautiful. I think it’s a very subjective matter, and not a sweeping statement to be made. YOUR life may be beautiful, but it is in finding this so-called “beauty” that many of us fail.

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36 Responses to “The “Nature” of Suicide”

  1. Rebel August 9, 2009 at 1:10 am #

    Well written (and no, am not being sarci).
    I think suicide is cowardly not because you don’t have the courage to live upto the challenges that face you, but because you don’t give a thought to the plight of your loved ones once you commit the act.
    There have been moments in my life when I have flirted with the idea, to be honest. I can see where those who do commit suicide come from. But the only thing that has kept me back from doing anything foolish (if I should use that word) is I shudder to imagine the state my folks would be in afterwards. Let alone getting past the misery, I am sure they would never ever even find the answer to the question – why did he do it?

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 1:15 am #

      Thanks…

      What if there was no loved one to miss you, once you were gone? What if they didn’t show it enough, that they loved you? Then would it be cowardly?

      • Rebel August 9, 2009 at 2:42 pm #

        If there was no loved one to miss you, it would make it a million times easier. And its tough to imagine the second scenario. I mean if your loved ones love you, you would come to know that, right?

        • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 3:38 pm #

          Yes, if they let you know, then you would come to know provided you weren’t mentally ill or extremely self-absorbed and thus oblivious.

  2. Rick August 9, 2009 at 2:04 am #

    I really, even urgently, want to understand what you are writing here, both overtly and in subtext. Perhaps if I had more of your blog, or more carefully, I would know but I can only assume your background is Hindu, and that the idea of suicide therefore rests on a very distinctive set up predicates.

    Perhaps the first great sociological book ever written was Emil Durkheim’s study Suicide in which he advances the primary cause/condition of suicide as “anomie”. It is a great book, not only because the subject is important, but because the new kind of science he was helping to create there was both lucid and fruitful. Anomie is an important word and concept, and I sense it lucking around the corners of your blog.

    Anomie is a debilitation which can be addressed. I assume, from a well of ignorance, that the questions you are asking well up from your unhappiness that you are gay. You were born queer, have always been gay and will always be gay. There is nothing you can do to alter that fact, but you can accept it, just as Ganesha accepts his trunk and Hanuman his tail. And you really are much more than merely acceptable. You are a smart kid with a clearly attractive mind and writing style and a good heart, who happens to want to suck cock. What’s not to accept?

    Also, there are certainly circumstances where suicide is anything but cowardly. I do not think it cowardly to avoid unendurable pain leading to an inevitable death. There are circumstances where a suicidal act can be a life giving sacrifice for others.

    “Cowardly” is also a wasteful word to apply to someone who destroys himself to end a misery which precludes any sense of beauty when that misery itself is no more than a correctable chemical imbalance.

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm #

      Hehe! I am Hindu by background, but not religious at all, Rick. You know more about Hindu scriptures and mythology than I do, it seems.

      As for the being gay bit, yes, that is the root of several miseries. How can it not be, when I live in a society that screams the need to find acceptance within it, and yet refuses to accept you? And when you don’t have enough people who think the way you do, around you?

      If suicide was indeed simply a chemical imbalance, then why is it a menace, that too when it isn’t a contagious disease? Is it really that curable?

      • Rick August 9, 2009 at 11:06 pm #

        How can you expect your society to accept you if you have not first accepted yourself? You know that there is sinply nothing wrong with your sexual desires which are loving, enduring, exciting, harmless and damn common. Since you know it, why can’t you believe it?

        I have little doubt that once you have done what you know you are going to do, in due course, you will find that those whose acceptance in fact matters to you pretty much couldn’t care less who puts what where and when.

        It’s your body, your life, your joy. Embrace it all: it’s your lot.

        • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 11:16 pm #

          Oh, you needn’t worry on that front. I’m proud of my lot, to whatever extent I can be. I’m very proud and everything, to be gay. Just, it gets bloody tiring at times that other people can’t see that it’s something to be proud of.

          The pressure we receive here, to conform, is far more than that enjoyed in Europe… If you’d spent a few years over here, Rick, you’d know what I mean.
          It’s a struggle to obtain society’s approval, being what we are, and and they make it equally hard to live without it.

          Anyhow, this WASN’T what this post was about! You’re jumping to conclusions… ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Rick August 10, 2009 at 3:55 am #

            Earlier this year I planned a trip for two gay friends who are very much in love to my Caribbean island, and was able to join them for the middle of their two week visit. They wanted to see the East Indian area which had become my sort-of sometimes second home. In all the time I have spent there, I never met an open gay in any sort of public place, except for the transvestite who danced at the weddings. Queers just didn’t exist. In a place where boys lived at home until their marriage was arranged, where a house never needed to be locked because there was always somebody there, where privacy was inconceivable (except perhaps out hidden in the cane fields) and where anonymity was impossible, the idea of ‘accepting’ was as irrelevant as it was impossible. I was a little nervous about ‘imposing’ my gay friends upon my Indian friends and took the perhaps politically incorrect precaution of asking the Indians who would be our hosts if they would be uncomfortable about receiving a couple homosexuals. I’m not certain that the answers were truthful when given, but everybody insisted it was no problem.

            We spent two or three nights in the house of a long term friend who had moved his family to New York; the house was lived in to a relative, a university student in his 20’s. I even, discretely, asked him if he would be bothered if the two Americans slept together.

            In fact, it went wonderfully. Everyone they met liked them a lot. Invitations to return were made and meant.. I was reminded of the feeling my generation of white Americans use to have when we finally made friends with a Negro, and could claim to have a good black friend, proving they meant what they said about the rejection of racism.

            Last night the student was in New York passing through on his way to a North American university. We went out to dinner with the guys he had hosted, who, being on home turf were extremely affectionate with each other at the bar and at the table. The Indian used his cell phone to take a picture of the two of them kissing on the lips, and then asked permission put his arm around my shoulder and have someone snap that shot. I’m sure they made him feel like a sophisticated man of the world, I’m sure the student friend is straight and thinks that I am too, but he was palpably pleased to demonstrate his acceptance of something which even a year before would have been beyond his imagination.

            I don’t know why you should be proud of being gay. It’s nothing you achieved. It makes no more sense that it would be for me to be proud of being white, or having blue eyes, or being six feet tall or an educated American accent. Being an intellectual was my achievement and, yes, I’m proud of that; being born with a high IQ, on the other hand, was just a lucky gift.

            Being proud of being proud of being gay make a little more sense, however confusing. To maintain your conviction that you and your sexuality are legitimate and attractive and properly embraced by your self. To refuse to sully your sense of your self value because some people of limited knowledge, information and honesty refuse to grow up takes work and is something to be proud of.

            Socrates said that the purpose of living was the search for the good, the true and the beautiful. I have written evidence that you have a reasonably beautiful mind. I hope you have a reasonably beautiful body. I’m confident that you are capably of having beautiful sexual experiences. I know that your world is filled with beautiful things, landscapes, people to see and to sense. If was is cut off from that sense of beauty because of the ignorant disapproval of society, then fuck society and trust yourself, because you have a much better idea of who and what you are than does anyone outside you looking at you.

            Forty years ago a few pissed off drag queens at a sleazy Greenwich Village bar started a riot that sparked as vast sea change in American attitudes toward gays. It will happen in India too, and the determined self-acceptance of every faggot in the sub-continent can only speed the inevitable.

            I know you were not posting to announce that you were giving serious thought to offing yourself. But I also know that you were telling us all how very unhappy you find yourself to be. I, for one, think you’re OK.

            • unsungpsalm August 10, 2009 at 9:22 pm #

              Sigh! This could go on and on forever, Rick!!
              Clearly, the people you encountered were very accepting and progressive. Isn’t everyone. Yes, there is always a group of people which is modern in thought, but that cannot be extrapolated to the entire society.

              Most people here are closeted (almost all) and cannot afford to be open about their sexualities in society. I’m talking about in India itself, and not among some Indians living abroad, where they would have to conform to social norms in THAT culture, instead of IMPOSING their own.
              As you mentioned, there was no one who was openly gay among them as well, which should make you wonder… why!

              When I say I’m proud of being gay, I mean to say that I’m not ashamed of it, and I’m happy that I’m different… and most people feel that being gay brings with it several other qualities that we otherwise wouldn’t have had, particularly creativity, or in my case, a better understanding of society. Most people who do not belong to a minority or a discriminated group also do not feel compelled to understand the social set-up around them, and why they treated as they are. They live oblivious to the mindsets of the people around them, satisfied in their own little world…

              Yep, I’m not planning to off myself, and you’re right… I AM okay ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Pesto Sauce August 9, 2009 at 2:36 pm #

    Written with a lot of depth

    I agree that normal people will never be able to understand what goes on in someone’s mind if contemplating suicide, for the plight of that person may be beyond our comprehension and cure. You are right when you said that normal people will never know what being gay means, or how one can be actually attracted to same sex

    You also rightly branded paedophiles as normal, but if they force themselves on someone, then it is a crime; the same way rapes and molestations are

    My post was written after being with the grieving family and attending the ceremonies after death. And beleive me, the pain and suffering of surviving family is palpable

    But never knew my post will trigger this long thought process in you….

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 3:45 pm #

      Naw, the thought (at least about paedophiles) has always been on the periphery of my mind. After reading your post, I got thinking about suicide victims as well, and thought it could’ve made sense…

  4. DewdropDream August 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm #

    That is a very maturely written, thought-provoking post USP!

    I cannot judge suicidal people either, no one really ever does know what they might have gone through. I had a friend who once confessed to attempting to take her life several times and I didn’t feel shock or outrage, I merely felt sad that here was this person I cared about and her life was so horrible that she wanted out โ€” and I couldn’t do anything to change that.

    I see your point about how pedophilia can be a rational, natural thing but like you said, acting upon that impulse can harm someone else and maybe this is the reason it has been outlawed from the start. Jusfifying its origin would leave a lot of room for offenders to get away, leave loopholes that could always be used to set offenders free and thus risk them being a bigger threat to society.

    A friend of mine is a psychologist who works with offenders and she simply said ‘They’re human too at the end of it and they deserve a chance’. She said there are many who go through therapy and come out better people but there are also the cases who never recover from their mental illnesses that make them behave the way they do. And while all of that makes sense, I find it hard to excuse anybody who has harmed another person so badly because they are mentally ill. I set great store by limits and it’s hard for me to believe that any part of humanity would be depraved as to cross those limits, mentally ill or not.

    Sorry, went off on a tangent. Suicidal people… well, it is their life ultimately. Same argument that goes for Euthansia. And sure it hurts to lose someone beloved but is someone else’s happiness that depends on someone being alive somehow greater and more important than the happiness of that person who is clearly very unhappy living?

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 10:41 pm #

      I loved the last paragraph of your comment. You read our thoughts, and put them into very precise words. That, I suppose you mean, deals exclusively with Euthanasia; as in case of suicidal victims, the aforesaid person, if he/she cared enough, would take measures to make their loved one’s life better, so that the latter wouldn’t rather die.

    • Rakesh August 10, 2009 at 1:01 am #

      Sexual attraction in itself should not be a crime or looked down upon. People can have sexual attraction towards someone of the same gender, or someone much older or younger, or a child, a family member, or an animal or even inanimate objects. Acting on that sexual attraction without consent (unless its for an inanimate object) is what makes it wrong. Paedophilia or beastiality isn’t wrong per se. Its acting on those impulses that is condemnable.

  5. v August 9, 2009 at 4:35 pm #

    USP USP USP……..even though i know from ur posts u speak what is as is …but this post is the one of the most thought provoking and soul stirring post i have read from u…..

    On a cloudy sunday afternoon i started reading this and like a roller coaster first reading pesto’s post and then your post it took me to a very deepest and darkest of the valley’s of my heart and also to the brighter side of life too and what more i can say u have written about suicide i think in a way which delivers the message and made us all think …… as we all like to become judges…who are we to judge the actions of others

    HATS OFF TO U USP !!!!!

    “”โ€œTears were originally the blood of the
    heart. Grief turned them into water.โ€”

    Of course you don’t die.
    Nobody dies.
    Death doesn’t exist.
    You only reach a new level of vision,
    a new realm of consciousness,
    a new unknown world.

    ~ Henry Miller ~

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 10:43 pm #

      Thanks for those inspiring words, V, from Miller and the one before… They’re very suitable to the mood of this discussion…

  6. sujata August 9, 2009 at 4:52 pm #

    I agree completely to not branding suicide as an act of cowardice. many people commit suicide when they are terminally ill and have no money for treatment, is that being a coward? I may not understand the psyche of a gay person, but I accept him/her as natural and a part of our society just as I am. As long as we have the education to curb our basic instincts so that we don not harm society, I think everything is acceptable.

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 10:47 pm #

      It’s strange how so many of us concur with this line of thought, yet whenever a suicide case becomes popular, all one hears is how suicide is cowardly.

      Hopefully, it’s just exaggeration by the media!

  7. Karan August 9, 2009 at 6:27 pm #

    Are you sure you are 20 something and not 50+ ? Every time I read your post you end up sounding more and more mature than what I believed you to be.
    I have never got to come across who may be suicidal in nature but I have seen closed and loved ones endure elongated pain,suffering and injustice by life who might have developed these tendencies had their life continued on the same track for anymore time.
    I think it takes GUTS to commit suicide and not be cowardly. Its easier to say there is one life to live, live it out, its worth fighting it out …etc etc. But anybody who is not in their shoes cant even remotely feel what they are going through. The suffering has to be immense and mammoth to drive them to think of these otherwise its fucking difficult even to cut your own finger …

    Profound subject, a cheery next post ? ๐Ÿ™‚

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 10:50 pm #

      And yet, some of my posts suggest that I’m a 16- ๐Ÿ˜› (*coughswimmingpoolcough*)
      Will attempt a cheery next post, but cannot guarantee it. I cannot control my temperament. I can only put it into words.

  8. BlueMist August 9, 2009 at 6:56 pm #

    Awesomely written. Way mature going by your age. I think one needs to be little cautious when comes labeling someone else. Be about suiscide or be it gay or something else. and like it said sometime back it is easy to be judgmental about someone else than judging our own actions.

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 10:50 pm #

      Farrr too easy to be judgmental, unfortunately. And we’re all guilty of it at some level or another…

  9. Meira August 9, 2009 at 7:52 pm #

    It’s not the life but what we do and think of it that makes it beautiful. Hmm…I get what you mean, but to me suicide is an escapist route. For someone who doesn’t see any way out, so they stop fighting all together. But I too, am petrified of the mere thought of committing suicide!

    • unsungpsalm August 9, 2009 at 10:56 pm #

      Finding a way out means that you probably landed up in soup.

      If someone gambles away all his possessions, and then kills himself, it’s cowardice.
      If someone’s terminally ill, and can only expect months of a slow and painful death… if someone loses one’s entire family in an accident or a calamity and is left all alone in the world, say well after middle-age… that’s too much pain, and it wasn’t self-induced. Cannot brand the act of the latter lot as cowardly.

      • Meira August 11, 2009 at 9:57 am #

        Why? does life end completely if you lose your loved ones? It is painful. we get shattered? But we pick up the pieces and try to search for happiness again. And since when did age become a barrier to anything?:D

        • unsungpsalm August 11, 2009 at 11:27 am #

          Maybe you’re right. I don’t know, never been in the position, thankfully.

          But I’m sure that there are situations in which death is better than survival…
          Imagine a woman being branded a witch, in a backward village, being mistreated repeatedly, having no access to any kind of assistance, and having to face a lot of oppression….
          Imagine a man being falsely accused of a heinous crime and having to serve a life-sentence for the same…

  10. Miss M August 10, 2009 at 4:10 am #

    Although I do agree with whatever you said about suicide, I must say that I completely disagree on the pedophile front.

    You said “attraction is only natural”.. but it is NOT natural to be sexually attracted towards children. Towards children who don’t even know what sexuality and attraction means in the first place. The question of pedophiles forcing upon children does not even arise, because if a 40 year old man is touching a 10 year old kid inappropriately, firstly the kid won’t even understand what is going on. A ten year old kid is not capable of making that decision or that judgement. So the kid will probably assume that it is OKAY to be touched that way by a grown up. And in any case, why and how is a ten year old child going to ‘consent’ to such an act? Does he even understand what he’s consenting to? Obviously not! So either way, pedophiles ARE forcing themselves on children. There is no consent involved in any case.

    You are only exploiting a child’s innocence because he doesn’t even know how to protest. And that is what a pedophile does…taking advantage of a child’s innocence. A ten year old wouldn’t know how to protest because he is really not capable of deciding between whats right and what’s wrong. See, being homosexual cannot be viewed in the same platform as being a pedophile. Being a homosexual, or realising you are one, you are not harming anyone! Maybe hurting of feelings is involved, but other than that…its really not a big deal. Homosexuality is just too hyped up by our society. But pedophilia is almost like scarring another person, a child nonetheless; in a lot of cases, for life!

    You don’t need to be in a pedophile’s shoes to understand how utterly disgusting and wrong this act is. In fact, any kind of child abuse, sexual, physical and mental, I will most certainly judge the person who commits this crime. Mentally ill or not. I don’t think I’ll be able to have kids of my own in the future thinking it’s only natural for a grown-up to develop sexual tendencies towards children. It is just not natural.

    • Rakesh August 10, 2009 at 8:31 pm #

      Miss M, I hear your argument, but if you try to separate the emotion from the act, it might change your opinion. To give you a simplified example, lets say, a boss feels sexually attracted to an employee, but she does not want to have sex with him. Just having attraction for her does not make it wrong. But, if he forces himself on her, or if he misuses his power as the boss to get her to consent to having sex with him, THAT is wrong, coz she doesn’t really consent to it. Similarly, if someone has an attraction towards a child or a goat or a roller coaster (true situation:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5972632/Woman-getting-married-to-fairground-ride.html?connect), we don’t understand that attraction, so we condemn it. If someone were to have sexual attraction to a child, in my opinion he or she is normal, as long as they don’t act on it, coz there is no real consent from the child there.

      • Miss M August 10, 2009 at 9:59 pm #

        But that is an inanimate object!
        Are you seriously suggesting that developing sexual tendencies towards a child is the SAME as being sexually attracted towards a “fairground ride”?!! Or a sexual attraction between a boss and his/her employee? They are not the same!

        When you talk about pedophilia, you CANNOT separate emotions from the act itself. How can you? It’s a child in question. Children are helpless beings that way.

        Acting on something like that is definitely wrong, but to even develop such tendencies towards children, is equally wrong. In my opinion at least. And I doubt anything would change my opinion about that. Like I said earlier, I will not be able to have kids in the future if I ever changed my opinion.

        • unsungpsalm August 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm #

          “Are you seriously suggesting that developing sexual tendencies towards a child…”

          Sexual tendencies are not developed, babe. If they could be, I would’ve developed sexual tendencies towards women, and not men, and thus made life much easier for myself…

          Sexual attraction, as an emotion, is beyond our control. Acting on those emotions is within our control. Which we must not do, in the case of non-consenting adults, and all children…

          Rakesh is handling this discussion well, so I’ll leave it to him to argue out ๐Ÿ™‚

          You must understand, M, that we in no way endorse or support child abuse, or argue that child abusers should be given any kind of leeway… We’re all dead against child abuse.

          But Paedophilia itself isn’t Child Abuse. One is a cause, and the other is a deliberate act. The cause is natural and uncontrollable (except maybe through Baba Ramdev’s Yoga), the act is voluntary.

  11. Rakesh August 10, 2009 at 10:36 pm #

    Yes, I AM saying that having sexual attraction towards a child or an inanimate object are the same as having sexual attraction towards another adult. Sexual attraction is just a chemical reaction in your body that causes the hormones to react in a certain way. Who (or what) you are attracted to isn’t always something that is developed. I don’t think pedophiles have a choice in who they are attracted to. I do think they have a choice in acting upon those insticts.

  12. Miss M August 11, 2009 at 12:54 am #

    Welll I am still going to stick to my guns. ๐Ÿ™‚

    You may not be endorsing or supporting child abuse, I am sure. I didn’t say you were. But even saying that it IS okay for some people to be attracted towards children sexually- its halfway there. Because having such tendencies gives rise to acting on it. One obviously doesn’t exist without the other. So whether one acts on it or not, it doesn’t matter. To think that a person might be sexually attracted towards a child- well I can’t digest that. I never will.

    • unsungpsalm August 11, 2009 at 7:17 am #

      Babe, in my opinion, I do NOT think it’s okay for some people to be attracted towards children sexually. I don’t think it’s okay for some people to be attracted towards other adult people, belonging to the same sex. But it happens, and it is because of, as Rakesh mentioned, a chemical reaction. Thus, we have to live with it because it exists, and is beyond our control. So we have to accept that such phenomena exist, and as long as they’re not the source of harm to another person, then why complain?

    • unsungpsalm August 11, 2009 at 7:19 am #

      Oh, and you’re right that “having such tendencies gives rise to acting on it.” which puts them into the group of BAD people!
      So we’ll say that there in 20 paedophiles, 19 have caused harm for sure, and there’s 1 person who restrained himself from birth to death, and I would say that it’s fine if he has those feelings, since he never acted on them ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Rohit August 12, 2009 at 8:22 pm #

    I am glad that I read this .Excellent post! The root cause of somebody contemplating a suicide is depression and the distorted thinking process that comes along as a bonus. I guess most of these suicide attempts happen impulsively and its that moment of “there’s no way out” mode of thinking. I just dont think its cowardice, its acute depression and its a complete waste of a life..which could more often than not have been avoided if the person had somebody to speak to. I am scared to die ..I guess most of us are, so a person who commits a suicide cannot be a coward.

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