Ummm 2

28 Jun

So I’m alone. In my bedroom. The party will go on for another hour surely, but I left half an hour ago. So that was my second gay party. Possibly the last. (Am I being dramatic? Maybe. Or maybe not. I cannot say. But my last party for quite some time, for sure!)

An entire evening of dance, and the only other person who danced with me was probably the same random fellow as last week, a total umm… well, something, who drove me away.

Never felt so rejected. Okay, I’ve been worse, but this was bad too. SO many hours at that place, and no one asked me to dance. Tried doing the “make eye contact” bit of advice but that didn’t work too well. Apparently, I suck at everything here. A total wallpaper at a hip and happening gay party, in a room-full of men.

Never felt so ordinary. Cannot look at myself in the mirror. So very ordinary.

But one good thing came of the evening, I guess. I have this renewed confidence that if ever I feel lonely and alone, and yearn for another guy, all I have to think of is this evening. And I’ll know that I can live my life alone. Without being judged. And ignored.


15 Responses to “Ummm 2”

  1. Alan June 28, 2009 at 5:25 am #

    Don’t worry – going by your blog, I doubt you are ordinary!!

    Also, depending on the situation, being extraordinary might be the reason why you did not draw attention –

    As I don’t have the classic ‘ordinary’ good looks, I have oft been ignored – but then again when I start peddling my extra-ordinary ideas, people usually run away from me – ha!! ha!!! – so I am not sure which is better!

  2. BlueMist June 28, 2009 at 1:18 pm #

    Awww…it must be just of those days. Loss is theirs. You are awesome. So chin up !!

  3. unsungpsalm June 28, 2009 at 1:26 pm #

    That’s the unfortunate part, Allen. I’m apparently above ordinary only in the Virtual World. In the real world, I’m downright plain. It does suck very much!

    Lol, I suppose you too need to find the right kind of people. The sort I found yesterday weren’t the best, I guess…
    Linking you πŸ™‚

    Aww, thanks babe. But it’ll take some time and some forgetting.

  4. Meghana Naidu June 28, 2009 at 3:27 pm #

    😐 wtf. Stop the self pity, for all you know they might just be way below you! and i agree with Alan.

    Ordinary?You? You wish, maybe then you would fit right in!

    i dont mean to give in to the ‘me-hot-no-brain’ logic, but mostly it holds true 😐

    and been there done that,

    the right boi is just around the corner, not that it would be easy even after you’ve found him, if anything its worse! but all this sulking just wont do.

    Got it?
    … Good.


  5. Meghana Naidu June 28, 2009 at 3:29 pm #

    And BTW the world is divided into ‘gay’ people and ‘straight’ people? (PS: your link-ups)
    now look who’s being discriminating!

  6. unsungpsalm June 28, 2009 at 4:30 pm #

    Lol, thank you so much na’am! Yes, I shall quit the self-pity… next week. Until then, I’ll let myself feel rotten. That’s reasonable, right?
    Good! πŸ™‚
    It’s HARDER when you find the right guy? Like really? Yipes!

    Actually, my blogroll is divided into Openly gay people and Closet gay people πŸ˜›
    Actually, it’s just for the convenience of gay readers searching for other gay desi blogs πŸ™‚

  7. Only my rants June 29, 2009 at 9:44 am #

    No ways u’re ordinary!! I cudnt digest when I read that! C’mon just one incident cant make u think that right? From ur other posts, it seems u dont forget things easily, so might take some time for u to get over it but I’m sure u will..
    Again.. U’re not ordinary, keep repeating in ur mind!!! πŸ™‚

  8. unsungpsalm June 29, 2009 at 10:00 am #

    Awww, you guys are SOO sweet πŸ™‚

    But I am and shall remain an average fellow, at least in the aspects that are concerned in the above scenario. It’s alright, though. One just has to accept!

  9. Meghana Naidu June 29, 2009 at 2:28 pm #


    i cant help you.
    till the end of the week was ok but after reading the response above, i give up. you’ve made them do it, another victory for the ‘fair’ side.
    oh the horror, the horror.

    and as for your question, hell yeah! then you have to battle issues beyond “jiggling your booty with someone” right πŸ˜‰
    and whatever popular opinion is, sometimes love just aint enough.

    But isnt that the bitter-sweet symphony of life πŸ™‚

    let me leave you with mental images of ‘cuddle sessions and body cocoons’
    Yes, im evil that way. muahahahaHA! πŸ˜€

  10. Vlad June 29, 2009 at 11:29 pm #

    Things like that suck. Keep strong though – I am sure you will be laughing at your own blog entries like this one someday. πŸ˜‰

  11. UnsungPsalm June 30, 2009 at 7:26 pm #

    Oh, I’m positive I’ll be laughing at ALL by blog entries some day!

    Lady, you’ve got my head reeling with your words!!

    It seems I’m going for my third gay party tonight πŸ˜›

  12. Meghana Naidu June 30, 2009 at 7:35 pm #

    !! *grin*grin*grin*

    do you promise to be a good boy … wait scratch that … do you promise to try and have fun
    and not come back and write another ummm-3.
    id like to read a YAY or a nah-ee-ss.

    and if its all that bad you can sit back and recite poems in your head, e.e. cummings or emily dickinson.
    they’ll surely make you get that ‘superior smirk’ which is oh-so-attractive.


  13. Meghana Naidu June 30, 2009 at 7:38 pm #


    the above puns were totally unintended ( erm … this is only for the people who caught it πŸ˜‰ )
    they are truly 2 of my favorite poets, everybody knows that about me.

  14. unsungpsalm June 30, 2009 at 7:46 pm #

    OMG, I didn’t realise it till you explicitly mentioned it! You Notty Girl!!

    Lol, ok… I shall follow your advice. As for the “superior smirk”, I’m so good at it, you can’t imagine πŸ˜‰

  15. Nikita July 3, 2009 at 1:39 pm #

    Awww.. chin up boy!
    That feeling comes to every-damn-body at some point or another

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