10 Reasons why I hate my life

11 Mar

Right, so I was sitting in class this afternoon and feeling very very lousy. I thought maybe blogging the reasons for feeling lousy would help. So I jotted some down.

1. Holi – So I didn’t really intend to celebrate it. I didn’t think that friends were celebrating it either. I spent the entire morning completing some paperwork for my internship, and went around to my nearby friends’ rooms in the afternoon only to learn that they indeed DID play with colours… And they asked me “Why didn’t you play, idiot?” Well, here’s why… because none of you fuckin’ morons had the decency to even ask!
I’m certainly not forgetting this incident, anytime soon. I may not spend every living second with them, but I do spend a substantial amount of time, and they walk into my room to chat up whenever they’re bored. So what justifies their being so thoughless?

On the flipside, I happened to be sitting by a harmless friend-acquaintance-borderline in class today who I’d met earlier yesterday, and who was pretty shocked to see me Clean ‘n’ Clear. Today, he once again asked me, “You didn’t play holi at all?” to which I responded in negative. He asked why, and I obliged him with a response. Then he said that he’d come around to my room in the evening with some colours he had remaining, and rub some on me. Needless to say, I was touched, flattered and everything else one can think of!

2. Turning 21… which is going to happen sometime soon. I dislike birthdays. Immensely. I for once hate the attention. Then there’s the concern of the celebration. I’m just too bad at drawing up a list of invitees… I simply don’t know where to put a stop! And I keep worrying if everyone’s comfortable. I hate birthdays.

3. Brazil. Which I was soo excited about before I got to know that it’s darned dangerous. When I went abroad, I thought to myself, I’d wander aimlessly on the streets at night, and soak in the culture and the people around me. That’s what I thought. I definitely see that happening!
I wouldn’t dare go to a gay bar. Naive as we are, I’d probably get robbed before I entered. I wouldn’t dare go to any bar unless with a huge gang of people.
The expectations are basically massacred.  Period. This foreign internship, if it happens, is going to be concerned with work!

4. Delhi – So just when I go about gathering enough acquaintances in Delhi to be able to have company when I visit a gay party, it turns out that that’s not where I’m spending my next vacation. Even if I did call off Brazil, and stayed in Delhi, I’d be miserable about not being able to be abroad.
There’s no viable solution to this problem.

5. When College ends? –  I still don’t know what to master in. The job scene is practically dead, and I’ll be struggling to bag a hopeless one in a market that’s uninviting. If I were to have to avoid that, I’d have to go into specialisation, and anyone who’s been reading this blog long enough will know how decisive I am on that front.

6. Tests –  Begin soon. On my birthday, in fact. Which means that people will probably be too busy studying to even remember to wish me. I hate birthdays.

7. The belly – I eat less, exercise a lot, hardly drink, and yet I cannot push in my slightly protruding stomach. And every guy I see with flat abs makes me burn in envy. God is so unkind!

8. College of Communication – The one that I visited briefly today was overflowing with eloquent, well-spoken guys, all of whom seemed extensively sophisticated and predominantly gay. There must be soo many of them, in fact, that I doubt they look beyond their walls for relationships.
How suited I would be to that campus. How unsuitable I am here. 4 years of college education wasted. Lovely! Which brings me to…

9.  Being Single… I cannot even cry about my problems to anyone, who’d soothe and comfort. And there’s no one to spend unlimited amounts of cell-phone balance on, and nobody to mumble to as I fall asleep every night.

10. Success all around – Tons of people going to European countries during the summer, people with their futures planned out, wealthy people, people who don’t give a damn… Happy people.

To all those who said that happiness is just a state of being… Fuck you!
Oh, except you Mom… for you… You’re Wrong!


You may comment on this post as long as your comment does not include the word “Patience” in it (and I’m talking about you, Rakesh), because frankly m’dears, I really have none.


15 Responses to “10 Reasons why I hate my life”

  1. Pesto Sauce March 11, 2009 at 6:29 pm #

    Being alone in Holi can be tough, I know that

    However I liked your explicit style of writing. I adore gays & am myself kind of bi-curious, having had a few experiences myself

  2. Rakesh March 11, 2009 at 9:36 pm #

    OK. I won’t say the P-word. I couldn’t help but smile while reading this post. If you were near, you’d certainly get a warm tight hug from me. You want to be on a super fast train to exotic lands and you feel stuck on a platform where all you see are the super slow trains to nowhere in particular. I’d say, take one of those … maybe that will take you on an adventure you’ll remember. At 21, live a little .. there’s a lifetime to worry.

  3. unsungpsalm March 11, 2009 at 11:00 pm #

    *Pesto Sauce
    Errr, thank you! I suppose that’s flattering… I think!
    After a few experiences, I think you’d have graduated beyond “curious” 😛

    You whore! That’s just another way of saying “Be Patient”!
    Now you owe me 2 warm tight hugs!

  4. BlueMist March 12, 2009 at 3:53 pm #

    You won’t know how much luck you have in store until you meet someone who has none from the list you have. You got to count on blessed things. When is the budday btw ? Advanced wishes to you. ( I may not be around with tech issues so ) and I am sure you will get much more than you are asking for on b-day and rest of the days. Cheers !!

  5. P March 12, 2009 at 5:45 pm #

    oye brazil will be just fine dont be so apprehensive- check out couchsurfing.com if you want to start making some friends in Brazil- plus you do know that currently there is an India craze in Brazil because of a new popular serial “Caminhas Das Indias” that is their version of Kyunki Saas – check it out on youtube

    Delhi is always there- theres plenty of time to get in on the scene during your lifetime

    UNcertainity sucks- believe me I know-but try and make the most of it

    and mind telling me what exactly happened with your email correspondence with SS

  6. flygye12 March 12, 2009 at 10:22 pm #

    Gosh u think so much about things…go to Brazil, get laid, enjoy!

  7. unsungpsalm March 13, 2009 at 12:24 am #

    Aww, you cannot give me the Gandhiji Talisman on that one!!
    It’s just that those people aren’t around me at the moment, while those who have so much more ARE. I wonder if THEY are feeling for ME at the moment!
    Budday in a few days 😛 Won’t give out an exact date.
    I hope I get nothing, for my B’day. Nothing means nothing bad. See? That’s optimism now 🙂

    Gee, had no idea about that Brazilian show! Very amusing! Very arbit too!
    Thanks for the advice, dude! Really, I should’ve just come out to you sooner 😛 You’re a great help!
    Will check out that website. And I’m going to take your word for it and not be paranoid. And I suppose you’re right about Delhi 😛

    Why is UN capitalised in uncertainty?? :S Pun somewhere?
    Predictably, there was no response from SS. Whenever one does come along, I’ll be sure to let ya know 🙂

    Why thank you sir! Great advice 🙂

  8. D March 13, 2009 at 11:59 am #

    You’re only 20????????!!!!!!!

    What’s wrong with you?

    I should stop reading this blog right away – you make me feel way too old!

  9. Nikita March 13, 2009 at 12:28 pm #

    Awwww dahling **HUGS**
    There are many people who don’t get internship opportunities abroad, and I know Brazil is an interesting place. You will enjoy and even if you can’t go to gay clubs, you will add something to your resume. mmmm do I sound too much like a career counsellor? Hmph! at 25, I guess everyone starts talking like that 😦
    All the best for tests; birthday wishes in advance and hugs again 🙂

    BTW, have you considered MBA after engineering? (there I go again)

  10. flygye12 March 13, 2009 at 7:24 pm #

    1.I think from their past experiences with you ur frnds have learnt when you say NO, to better leave you alone ! 🙂

    2. Ha ! As if ! Liar !YOU hating ATTENTION ! tell me a better one.

    3. Rio, Sao Paolo, Amazon, tropical jungles…..who wouldn’t like to be in your place? I’m sure there are other things to see in Brazil (i’ve heard people are obsessed with fitness there so i guess you’ll get much to ‘see’ there- and then write back home to us of course.) Btw getting mugged is an exprience in itself…lol…no really, cross my heart.

    4. Poori life padi hai dilli ke liye, go see the world.

    5. how about Masters in Indecision, ur worse than me !

    7. ur gym didn’t help much ? !coughitoldyousoitdoesn’tcough!

    8. how cliched

    9. Oye bees saal mein sattel hona hai kya? Single = ready to mingle

    10. Europe =Success hein? who told you that?
    the only thing i know about europe is that Europe=4 euros for 100 ml of mineral water-that’s wealth for you.
    Brazil is South America’s India.

  11. unsungpsalm March 13, 2009 at 8:38 pm #

    Wha?! My age is not my fault!!
    Is there something wrong in being 20, I ask. What is my crime? Were you not twenty once, yourself?

    *HUGS back*
    Hehe… STOP career counselling!
    Yes, thought of MBA. Hell no! Number-crunching is not for me! I’m made for the arts, I am!

    1. I had decided not to play. I didn’t really say No to anyone. They just didn’t approach me.
    Fine so they’re a bit insensitive. I’m forgiving, as always. Damn!

    2. I only hate attention in this situation 😛

    3. Is it now?
    Yes, all brazilians are bloody muscular. And I’m not. I’ll only get to see… and feel horrid about myself…
    I’m putting in extra hours at the gym, by the way, but it’s not showing 😦

    4. Hehe, ok!

    5. Lolz! If there was such a degree, I’d have a Doctorate in it!

    7. You *coughdidnosuchthingcough* and I’m exaggerating a tincy bit. It did help a lot, but not nearly as much as I’d want it to… Still working at it 😦

    8. What is??

    9. I really would love that, FG! Single, but no one around to mingle with 😦 I just want one person (who is good *coughhotsmartdistinguishedcough* enough!)

    10. From India to India? That’s so not a consolation 😛

    Thanks a lot for this lengthy comment, FG! You made my day 😀

  12. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper March 14, 2009 at 5:17 am #

    **Smacks USP for trying to pass off as fat**

    Buddy, you don’t know what a protruding belly means.

    The job scene is not that bad. They’re still hiring people.

    So that they can fire them after two months.

    And you’re twenty. 20. TwenTY. Life is supposed to suck. Unless you’re Miley Cyrus. Or the Jonas Brothers.

    Although I think life is going to suck for them at twenty too. Look at that kid from home alone No one really knows where he is now.

    See. Although, coming from other people’s experience, it does get better.

    Well, maybe.

    Not sure.

    I think it was awfully nice of me to do this.

  13. unsungpsalm March 14, 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    Hee hee!
    To be fair, I never said I’m fat!

    Life is supposed to suck at 20? Hmm… you’re the first to say so…

    Yes, very awfully of you!

  14. P March 15, 2009 at 1:29 am #

    dude i really think you have a baaaad case of anorexia- you will be fine in Brazil- they are as sex-crazed as gay people everywhere check out the tons of gay Brazilians on orkut if you dont believe me 😉

    capitalization was just a random typo i guess

  15. unsungpsalm March 15, 2009 at 8:23 am #

    Boy do I know about that! Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll he heading to any gay clubs, unless I miraculously happen to make some gay friends from among those living with me.
    Travelling alone at night is a strict No No!

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