How to Come Out?

17 Dec

Okay, so a very close friend, Tanuja, who was a year ahead of us and passed out this sem, is a person I’ve been getting quite close to this past year and a half. So much so that Hagatha got jealous often, in the beginning.

I thought that as I was seeing off Tanuja on her final return from our college town, I’d whisper into her ear about me (being H~) but I didn’t…

I won’t see her for a month atleast, but after reading Jack’s recent post of how people who come out only regret having waited, I want to tell her!

A few days ago, she had her Gtalk status message set to “Tauja misses UHKPPV” (U -> UnsungPsalm, H -> Hagatha and the rest of our lot)

So I thought I’d send her this e-mail, coming out to her. No I cannot do it in person or on the phone. It’s easiest for me done this way.

She was crazy about a gay guy (mentioned as Z in the email I’m sending her) for ages, even after getting to know about his orientation, so she’s definitely very gay-friendly.

Temme what you think πŸ™‚


You know, U often wonders how many from UHKPPVT think that U and H have something going on between them. Because U thought that most of KPPVT should know that they cannot be together for the fundamental reason that H likes men and U does too. Which would be so obvious because U is so awesome and yet single for so many years. And U told H almost a year ago, too, and wanted to tell T but such things are hard to do. Oh, and he does expect that T won’ tell anyone. Though U thinks that T may know because he thinks that Z knows.


So tell me what you think. I don’t want to miss out anything.


16 Responses to “How to Come Out?”

  1. Jackdaw December 17, 2008 at 12:40 pm #

    You know I was going to write this… or else that Crazy Sam would:

    Tell her in person. Then you will have an immediate response, you can see what she thinks, and she’ll be able to ask questions that you don’t write down so easily. All the important decisions in our lives are difficult, so making this ‘easy’ by telling it over email doesn’t feel right.

    Apart from being not very personal, how private the message may be, there’s another drawback. Between the moment of sending and the moment you get a response you will not be able to think of anything else… and she may have difficulty constructing the ‘right’ written response.

    Most importantly: If you tell her in person, you will see that it is actually not such a big deal after all, and that will pave the road for telling other people.

  2. Dark Knight December 17, 2008 at 2:03 pm #

    If you think this is right thing to do, then do it. You are right, many people regret waited. (Am trying to be positive :P)

    but if you are to say, I think saying in person would be good. You can see her reactions. Virtual world has it’s own benefit but it has it’s drawbacks as well. You can never judge true reaction here. So i would suggest (you asked it, I have it πŸ™‚ ) you to say her in person (if possible).
    All the best dude πŸ˜€

  3. Meira December 17, 2008 at 2:23 pm #

    I’l tell you want I think, only after I finish reading the last para once again

  4. Meira December 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm #

    “U is so awesome”
    Waise I think a phone call is a better option…second to telling her in person. Emails are so detached, no?

  5. D December 17, 2008 at 3:49 pm #

    I do think that saying something like this on e-mail is not the best way. But if you want to do it this way, can’t you make the darned thing a little less complicated?

  6. Crazy Sam December 17, 2008 at 7:52 pm #

    Jackdaw is so right! I can’t believe you are even thinking of coming out through email even after all those lectures that I had given you. Should I cane you for forgetting everything? COME OUT IN PERSON!

  7. unsungpsalm December 17, 2008 at 7:59 pm #

    1. As I said, she is gay friendly. She may already know or have suspected it a million times, so it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. I don’t care to see her reaction, I just want her to hear it from me once and for all.

    2. The first time I came out, it was through SMS. This time, I’m opting for email. In both cases, I’ve been doing it by text. Not because it’s “easier” but because it’s more personal to me! I’m most expressive over text, and I couldn’t be this expressive over the phone or in person. Definitely not over the phone.

    3. If I wait to come out to her in person, it may not happen for months. We mayn’t meet for months and not alone for even longer. So this is the best immediate option.

    It won’t be complicated to her πŸ˜‰

  8. Crazy Sam December 17, 2008 at 8:27 pm #

    Even though I’m still dead against this approach, as always I respect your decision. Just don’t forget to blog it for us to read. Happy second coming out buddy! πŸ™‚

  9. unsungpsalm December 17, 2008 at 11:15 pm #

    I just typed it in. Then I scrolled towards the Send Button and couldn’t get myself to press it. I was laughing in shock that I actually thought about doing it.

    And then I gathered the courage and pressed send.
    She’s online, so I can expect a response soon.

    This is sooooooo weird!

  10. Orange December 17, 2008 at 11:32 pm #

    I don’t think you should come out to someone via phone or email unless you absolutely need to. You do realize that its not easy news for most people to digest. Think about how long it took you to figure that out yourself.

    But also, when you tell them in person, they can see the emotions on your face and it also gives you a chance to gauge their feelings and structure your arguments.

    Hope that helps. Much love. And much luck.

  11. Just call me 'A' December 17, 2008 at 11:50 pm #

    i think you should tell her in person and if that is not possible then a phone call. an email is too impersonal for someone who is your close pal.

  12. unsungpsalm December 17, 2008 at 11:54 pm #

    Oh god! I told her, she responded. Her response was rather dull. Like, “Ok”.

    She’s totally gay-friendly and all. Anyway, am talking with her right now. Will fill you in on the details later πŸ™‚

  13. Rakesh December 18, 2008 at 12:01 am #

    Coming out drama is overrated these days. I think more and more people are like .. “OK, you’re gay, and? so what?”. Email, phone, in person shouldn’t matter, as long as you know the other person is going to take it well.

  14. unsungpsalm December 18, 2008 at 12:12 am #

    Well? She behaved as if I told her that I bought a new pencil.

  15. Meira December 18, 2008 at 11:14 am #

    She’s a real cool person πŸ™‚

  16. unsungpsalm December 18, 2008 at 12:15 pm #

    She’s awesome πŸ™‚

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