Lessons on Phonethics

15 Dec

20 points to whoever can catch on to the lame pun that is the title.

So there’s this dude I came across through this blog, who’s consistently been trying to get me on Voice Chat for only a month now.
We’ve been interacting for much longer through text-chat and emails of course, and there are times I cannot start my day without exchanging a word with him. But to him, the transition to voice was imminent. The reason was obvious. He’s bloody lazy and hates to type so much!

From the way I look at it, he has this fabulous life, has walked a path that I would want to follow on (unless he’s already got a patent on it) and has tremendous time and patience for my nonsense. Which even my mother denies me, in so many words.
But as things commonly are with me, such connections and relations last as long as they do because I’m an unknown entity, with only a textual existence. Whenever my mom complains about my spending too much time online (which is only about 7 times a day), I often tell her how much better a person’s virtual personality is than one’s actual. (Well, except mine, of course. I reveal my worst qualities here!)
And here he wants us to chat through voice! Wanting me to reveal an element of my physical existence. Freaky!
I don’t like to reveal my any elements of my physical existence to people around me, let alone those halfway across the world. Hell, I don’t even like to talk to friends on the phone. There’s something about a voice coming out of a metallic apparatus that I simply cannot trust. I will not have my voice coming out of metallic apparatus. (There I go sounding like Hyacinth Bucket… Thanks a lot, Ramby.)

But as I said, this dude was bloody insistent.

Each time he asked, I’d be in a position to decline, or in his words, I’d have an “excuse”; so last night, at half past one, I walked several miles to fetch a microphone, just so that he wouldn’t have to say “And what excuse do you have today?”

And there I lay, half talking, half dozing, for an hour and a half, almost in a whisper because I was sure that mom was listening in the next room. Mom is always listening. Well, not listening voluntarily… but she hears. She’s like a watch-dog, she is; cognisant of the movements of every mosquito in the house.

All through yesterday’s conversation, I was particularly proud of myself. While I did feel odd in places, and said things I wouldn’t normally say(type), and faltered in my diction (which I always do when speaking to someone who’s accented), I was nearly myself. Well, my virtual self. But it was quite a breakthrough to be able to speak to someone with an accent, which usually gives me a serious complex! Yes, even if it’s coming from my toddler nephews! Thankfully, his wasn’t so strong (very surprisingly, since he’s been abroad half his life) and sounded quite Indian at places. I don’t know how people do that! I keep telling my friends that even before my airplane lands on foreign soil, I’ll be speaking with their accent. Yes, I have been on the receiving end of a lot of abuse for that purpose, but oh well, an anonymous guy can be honest!
So one would think that this dude would be satisfied and all, now that I’ve finally given in to his demands.

Oh no way that’s happening! This morning, he tells me that in our next conversation, he wants me to… ahem… sing!

I cannot sing.

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7 Responses to “Lessons on Phonethics”

  1. Meira December 15, 2008 at 5:14 pm #

    Oh go on, sing 😛
    What do you know…he might want to switch back to chat 😛

  2. unsungpsalm December 15, 2008 at 5:18 pm #

    Haha! He just might.

  3. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper December 15, 2008 at 10:07 pm #

    This is what I get for trying to be helpful? I knew you would find some excuse to throw that in my face. Hmph.

    Also, Hyacinth Bucket is not scared of singing.

    Lastly, it’s pronounced as Boo-kyah ….

    😛 ….

  4. Rakesh December 15, 2008 at 11:21 pm #

    Someone’s trying to make you do things you don’t want to? I’d be careful if I were you.

  5. unsungpsalm December 15, 2008 at 11:32 pm #

    It’s not Boo-kyah! It’s Boo-kay!
    And I never pronounced it as Bucket. It’s just written that way.

    No, I love you for KUA. I really do!

    *Rakesh
    You bet. He’s a total creep 😛

  6. TLOB December 16, 2008 at 11:44 pm #

    hmm..seems you have a pretty busy schedule lined up for Delhi. At least, the blog has got you some dates, however virtual/ textual/ aural they are.

    I am cursed perhaps 😦 since no one has ever tried to contact me on my blog ( in spite of my dropping hints at them)..though, the most famous indian ‘gay’ blogger exchanged a couple of messages with me initially looking at my ‘slutty’ pic, only later to be told who I was..I will write a post on it soon 🙂

  7. unsungpsalm December 16, 2008 at 11:54 pm #

    Oh! I never thought you were open to meeting people!

    I would be open to that if you were… I always got the feeling that you were quite reticent. Maybe we should catch up a bit on Chat, get a bit comfortable talking, and then meet up for coffee towards the end of my hols? My business ends this weekend, and I have a little less than a month in Delhi…

    Looking forward to that post, though 🙂

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