TOW he became all confused again

9 Dec

After one hour at the office, I wrote this :-
___
I HAVE to think of a way to get out of here. Reason?

1. Social discomfort. I feel odd even when I’m in the room alone, let alone when there are 5 other individuals in here with me.

2. I hate being in the stupid technical room of a Media House! I could be rubbing shoulders with Journalists instead! The ones who dress well and look smart and all those things. The ones who fuel this organisation and who reach out to the masses. Yesterday, Maddy said that I was hanging out with people equivalen to peons. Well, I don’t disagree entirely. Naturally, I wouldn’t be hanging out with Peons if I took this up as a career… It’s just that this particular organisation isn’t exactly known for its technical expertise and prowess. The tech team simply ensures that one office can communicate with another. I would reach for bigger things of course, like testing or inventing the stuff that’s used here! But DAMN DAMN DAMN! (Read next point)

3. So I don’t know what happened to me yesterday but I had the guts to Google “Law after Engineering”. What was I thinking? I wonder!
That’s not the worst of it. The results left me scandalised and disappointed! People claim that Engineers are desirable in Law Schools in the US and have brilliant prospects in the Industry! Also, the application process simply requires me to take an LSAT exam and Lo and Behold, a good score gets me through. If I manage a Top 30 school, then I manage a good job! They say many engineers (especially from Electronics and Computers) go for Intellectual Property Law and even though I have little or no interest in the area, I can always lie to them that I do, so that they take me in, and then branch to and practice in a different field. SCANDALOUS!

4. I’ve been sitting in here for one and a half hours now and I want to kill myself. Condemn my entire life to Switches and Routers? Hell No!
____

Half an hour later, when everyone was out on a call and I was alone in the technical room, I packed my bag and ran away! The entire way, I hoped I wouldn’t come across anyone, because I wouldn’t know how to explain the reason for my sudden departure. But I suppose I shall have to call the Chief Engg. tomorrow and inform him that I’m not to be expected.
So what made me run? The Decision.

I decided that at the end of 4 years, I’d abandon my line and switch over.

This morning, I was having a speed conversation with Rakesh and asked him for a very very simple favour… to make this decision for me. The idiot couldn’t even do that much! I mean, I’ve known him for months now, for Christ’s sake… The least an online co-fags can expect from one another is to make life-changing decisions for them, right? But no, apparently, making this ONE tiny decision for me is too much of an effort.

He continues to make one very very valid point… that Engg. means money. And I want money. Lots and lots of money. I want to be rolling in Credit Cards (Bank notes are so passe) and laughing hysterically like Cruella. I want to be having the floors of my English castle swept with my week-old Armani suits and buy the lady, who’s been coming to clean our bathrooms here at home for 2 decades, her own Merc. I’m quite fond of her!
I also want to be able to buy my mom an LV store so that she can pick a new bag to carry everyday.
Okay, I can stop dreaming now.

Point is, Engg. means Money! Law means struggle. But Law means happiness and Engg. means frustration. It’s not that I’m not good at Engg. I’m very very good at it! My grades are roundabout quite good, and I would excel in the area. Only, as soon as a lawyer walked into the room, I’d want to hang myself in shame. And I’d keep wondering… “What if?”

So when Dad comes in tomorrow, I plan to talk it out with him. I was pretty determined today, though. I even went over to a store to buy an LSAT prep. guide, as soon as I’d escaped from the office. Only that it cost 1600 and I was carrying 500 so I pretended that I didn’t want that publication’s and left. So I shall have to go back once I’ve talked it out at home.

Dad is the second issue why I don’t want to take Law. No, it’s not like he’d keep me from taking law. It’s just that… after his grad., he did Law (but never practiced. He got into the crappy family business)! I seem to be walking on a complete parallel as him, and I hate the life he’s had to live and I feel awful for him. I’m sure he’d have wanted to change a lot of things about his own life too, so don’t say that I’m being mean. He’s a smart, articulate fellow who deserves better than to be interacting with ummm, daily wage earners. He should be writing for papers or working in the bureaucracy but life took him for a ride, and it seems that life is wanting to take me for a ride as well!
I wouldn’t want to end up the way he did.

Bah, life is a bitch. A big, horrible, ugly bitch. And I don’t mean it as a compliment to Life!
If I take this plunge, it’ll mean changing a lot of plans I had made already…

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28 Responses to “TOW he became all confused again”

  1. Stray December 9, 2008 at 7:45 pm #

    “Law means struggle” (a.k.a. doesn’t mean money)?! First time I’ve heard that.

    Lemme know when u are done stereo-typing and actually decide on taking up law full-time.

  2. unsungpsalm December 9, 2008 at 7:50 pm #

    No No, I didn’t mean Corp. Law or IP Law. I meant struggling for the rights of the underprivileged and for the betterment of society. All satisfaction. Little remuneration. Am I wrong?

  3. Stray December 9, 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    What does “struggling for the rights of the underprivileged” and the “betterment of society” mean? How does a lawyer assist in re these?

    If u wanna get a law degree and become a Medha Patkar or a politico, then you’re obviously wasting time because you don’t need the degree to do what MP does or what the politicos are supposed to be doing.

    A good lawyer can easily make money if s/he wants [guys like Shanti Bushan (Prashant Bhushan’s dad) and Harish Salve (NKP Salve’s son) charge in excess of Rs. 3 lakhs per hearing, which cud be anywhere between 5 mins to 6.5 hours; and they’d appear for 3-4 matters a day on average]. A number of good lawyers, however, aren’t in it for the money – they like what they do and the money consideration comes a distant second/ third/ fourth/ fifth… u get the point. Take Prashant Bhushan for instance – guys stays in one of the poshest localities in Delhi in a bungalow worth crores, yet the guy deals only with matters involving development rights (largely environmental issues).

  4. unsungpsalm December 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm #

    Say what?? Environmental issues? OMG! I’d LOVE to specialise in that!
    But surely I won’t be paid as much as him, or even half that amount, until I near his age, right? I mean, the guy’s awesome, I’m sure, but he’s bloody experienced and quite old.

    Engg. means instant money. Does Law in Human Rights/Development Rights etc. mean instant money?

    I was referring to the lawyers at the Alternative Law Forum. They’re doing good to the society, but they can’t be earning big bucks, can they?

  5. Rebel December 9, 2008 at 9:08 pm #

    Engg means instant money??!!! SAYS WHO??!!!

  6. Stray December 9, 2008 at 9:17 pm #

    You’re confusing issues, my friend. Guys at ALF are not in it for the money; in fact, the founders of ALF are socialist/ marxist and abhor money.

    If u begin to read up on developmental issues and understand their root causes, u will find that money is one of the most significantly deployed yardsticks to discriminate between people; hence, the common outrage against money by those engaged in developmental issues.

    No more discussions on this, please (u’ve said yourself that u’d rather go with the money than get involved with developmental issues). It would serve you better to read up on life after law to understand what u cud possibly be engaged in should you choose to tread down that path.

  7. unsungpsalm December 9, 2008 at 10:12 pm #

    *Rebel
    In comparison with most other professions, you do!

    *Stray
    Okay, I do confess I (grossly) exaggerated with the entire Cruella bit.
    If it was all about the money, I wouldn’t keep raising this question. I’m not doing it to seek attention. I’m genuinely confused between my Short-Term and Long-Term goals.
    If there is a way that I can pursue something that I would enjoy AND earn enough to be financially stable, then I’d go for it with all my might.
    But no, I’m not so crazy about money to compromise on everything for it. If so, I would’ve done an MBA after my engg. and landed up with a fabulous job. I know I’m capable of doing it, but I don’t want to because that’s not what I want to devote my life to.

    Where can I read up on life after law? I’d be very delighted if I could. My main concern remains whether or not I CAN make the transition without being a Child Prodigy. And whether or not it means years and years of struggle (and penury).

  8. Stray December 9, 2008 at 10:19 pm #

    Alrighty, mate.

    I’m back in India in January. U aint graduating before that. Email me your number and I’ll call you when I am back and we can chat about this. Done?

  9. unsungpsalm December 10, 2008 at 2:32 am #

    Sigh! I shall try to gather the courage to do that, by Jan. But hope to come to a resolution before then!

    Thank you plenty, Stray.

    And that YOU too Rakesh!

  10. Kabir December 10, 2008 at 3:49 am #

    Good for you, you should go for what you really want. Having said that, the grass is always greener on the other side. I’m saying that as an arts student (getting my Bachelors in English Literature). Part of me really likes what I’m doing, yet part of me wonders, what if I’d studied IT? Would I become a hotshot IT consultant,etc. I guess it’s all part of growing up…

  11. Kabir December 10, 2008 at 3:50 am #

    oh yeah, and spending ur entire life on switches and routers sounds horrible, you seem way too smart and witty to do that:)

  12. D December 10, 2008 at 12:15 pm #

    Law means struggle only if you go into litigation. Corporate lawyers don’t need to struggle, they have 9 to 5 jobs and they roll in money. Believe me.

  13. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper December 10, 2008 at 3:06 pm #

    Look, I’m saying this as someone who has also faced a lot of dilemmas and still does.

    See, the fact of the matte is, if you do something just as a job, you’ll either go mad or you will end up putting a gun through your head. (eg: Hitler)

    Believe me, nothing is easy. Whatever you choose, you will spend the better part of your youth trying to earn your stripes. (Unless you look like John Cena or Zac Efron. FYI, I don’t like Zac Efron. TMI, but I thought it better to clear the air.)

    So don’t do it just for the money. It’s going to come back and bite you in the ass. ANd from what I gather, you don’t like to be bit in the ass.

    That’s all for today. Tune in next week for a new episode of “The Sage advice of the fat guy on acid”

  14. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper December 10, 2008 at 3:09 pm #

    *matte is matter
    *bit is bitten

    I hate wordpress

  15. unsungpsalm December 10, 2008 at 7:45 pm #

    *Kabir
    Why, thanks for the compliment! English Lit.? I envy you!
    You’re new here, right? Do tell us more about yourself.

    As for the grass being greener on the other side, yes it’s true. Which is why I hope to experience being on both sides before I decide which requires lesser weeding.

    *D
    I know! But Corp. Law is as appealing to me as Engg. :S

    *Ramboon
    Yes! TMI! Who are those people? Don’t take John Cena’s name on my premises, please! I despise the man!

    Yes Ramby, I don’t like to be bit in the ass. And that I don’t wish to do anything purely for money is why the question keeps coming up.

    Are you really on acid? Please share a tip or two. If I don’t decide fast, I’m going to be relying on it too :S
    (Joking on the last one. I need to start smoking (and smoking up) before I can graduate to acids. Hopefully, it won’t come to that!)

  16. Stray December 10, 2008 at 8:34 pm #

    Honey, we aint talking till u say u love John Cena on your blog. He be the man!

    (Whilst at it, do include Batista too)

  17. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper December 10, 2008 at 8:56 pm #

    Yeah .. in fact, i’ll keep my trashy, mentally unstable, John Cena-loving, comments to myself. I can sense where I’m not err..umm….

  18. Kabir December 10, 2008 at 9:21 pm #

    Hi Unsung,

    Tell you more about myself? well here goes… i’m 22, Pakistani-American, currently studying in Washington DC. I’m in my fifth year of university, partly because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do… started out as a theatre major, the went back to Pakistan for two years (LUMS) where I studied “Social Sciences”, then back to the states to do Eng. Lit…. still have no idea what I’ll do when I graduate, but I’ll figure it out:). I study Hindustani classical music as well (have done so since I was a kid), Oh and I’m gay, as you probably figured:) anything else?

  19. unsungpsalm December 10, 2008 at 9:33 pm #

    *Stray
    John Cena made me want to poke my finger in his eye and twirl it around, when I used to follow WWE.
    Batista’s shoulders make me want to throw up. His tattoos (one in particular) are amazingly arousing, though. πŸ˜›

    *Ramby
    Baby, you’re more wanted here than anyone else (including me)

    *Kabir
    Yes, I got most of that from Googling your name πŸ™‚ Yes, I’m a total snoop πŸ˜›
    I’m glad you have the resources to invest this much time in deciding what (all) to study. I really do envy you. You grew up in London, right? Read it on one of the websites πŸ™‚
    Do you blog as well?

  20. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper December 10, 2008 at 11:17 pm #

    Well, if that were true you would have written a post felicitating me …. Oh, right …. oops …. My Bad …..

  21. Kabir December 11, 2008 at 2:21 am #

    Googling my name? You are a snoop:) .. Yeah, I’m really lucky I have the support to explore all these opitions, but at times I’m really frustrated and wish I had just stuck to something (I would have graduated by now and have a job in the real world!!!!). And no, I didn’t grow up in London, but mostly in the US (that must be someone else with the same name…)

    I don’t have a personal blog as of now… mostly just lurk and post comments on other people’s πŸ™‚ I do like posting links on my facebook page though

  22. unsungpsalm December 11, 2008 at 9:12 am #

    *Ramby
    Wait, I have done that already, haven’t I?

    Even if I haven’t, only one third of the posts make direct references to you. So suck it up!

    *Kabeeeer
    Na, I’m sure it was your profile… Musician and all. But maybe I got confused with someone else. I saw your profile here.
    Wow, you’re a celeb and all πŸ˜›
    My blog is humbled πŸ™‚

  23. Meira December 11, 2008 at 9:53 am #

    Engg is instant money??? I thought Management was supposed to do that πŸ˜€
    Thats why I got into mgmt…I’m still waiting for the big bucks
    Hang in there, TUP (damn ! I hate calling people by blog acronyms!!!)
    Guess completing the degree before you switch is a good idea of yours πŸ™‚

  24. Kabir December 11, 2008 at 10:01 am #

    lol, i’m a celeb:) I wrote that profile (well, the bio bit), just cause I was really surprised that my clips were uploaded on the net… i’ve since learned that I probably should be doing the up-loading and related self-promotion myself:)

  25. unsungpsalm December 11, 2008 at 10:21 am #

    *Meira
    Of COURSE I’d complete the degree! No question of wasting 4 years and good grades πŸ™‚

    Yes, Mgmt. is much more money than engg. but Engg. is really good too! My sis. did Mgmt. I envy the money she has but she shops for me too πŸ˜€
    We’ve never been closer πŸ˜›

    *Kabir
    Haha, yes you should.

  26. Destination Unknown December 11, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    Ummmm… My 2 cents here. Im a Law grad and trust me its a struggle unless u pass out from the top 5 universities. Else like me u struggle to get a job.

    Its been a couple of months and im nowhere near to getting one πŸ™‚

  27. unsungpsalm December 12, 2008 at 12:31 am #

    *DU
    Well, I should definitely want to engage you in conversation sometime. A lengthy sort.

  28. Destination Unknown December 17, 2008 at 10:20 pm #

    Sure. Anytime. Let me know when u’re online. Coz I dont log into this id much.

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