Delhi Dilemma

8 Dec

I don’t know why it is that I get so crippled while at home in winters. There’s always a considerable lack of activity. It’s not because I have nothing to do. I’m carrying a GRE book that needs my time, Shantaram that Hagatha insisted I read and my tarot cards, wanting to be explored again after years of neglect. Yet, the entire day went by and I achieved nothing.

There is something about winters that renders me utterly hopeless. Or maybe it’s home. I usually plan no more than 3 outings in the entire month, and somehow, every second of it is choreographed because I’ve thought about each so much. Including what I’m going to say, how and when I’m going to get there and so on.
There is no excitement, no spontaneity and several cancellations time and again.

Times like these, I wish I were in college again. The moment I were in college again, I’d wish I was back in Delhi, where there exist so many more possibilities.
It’s a choice between having many options and using none, and having no options and yearning for some.

I’d never visit a club alone. I’d want to take a walk around CP, but would get bored within minutes by myself and return home promptly. I recall how I once sneaked to CP  during my board exams to visit a Photography exhibition of Delhi through the ages. I practically ran through the photos, wondering when they would exhaust, so I could return home. I had wanted to go there very earnestly, but once I was there, I didn’t want to standing there all by myself; an aspect I hadn’t considered.

In an hour and a quarter, I’m expected at an office in hope for an internship. I don’t want to g because I doubt they’ll have anything to offer. Or because even if they do, I wouldn’t have the expertise to execute it. If I could, I wouldn’t go, but I have to becaue I’m expected and that only depresses me further.

The only source of joy at the moment is the 2 slices of Rich and Delicious leftover chocolate cake lying in my refrigerator which also depresses me as I’m getting roundabout no activity and yet eating 3 meals.

Why does Delhi do this to me?

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5 Responses to “Delhi Dilemma”

  1. Stray December 8, 2008 at 9:25 am #

    U are likely heading into a case of acute lonelinessitis, which is best cured with a couple or more good friends in Delhi and getting yourself involved in some regular activities (especially if it keeps your mind engaged). Try picking up chess and learning magic/ photography.

    Alternately, the short term solution would be mindless shopping, which would require higher dosages as time passes.

  2. Meira December 8, 2008 at 2:06 pm #

    I was at CP yest. Crappy time though! No ATMs, Janpath was crowded, no one to play the guitar at barista! Sheesh! Then went to India Habitat Center for paranthas . yum yum

  3. unsungpsalm December 8, 2008 at 4:52 pm #

    *Stray
    Magic! Golly, what a suggestion.

    Of course I know how to play chess! Find it dull.

    *Meira
    Is there usually someone to play the Guitar? I thought it was for the customers to play…

  4. Meira December 9, 2008 at 2:29 pm #

    yeah yeah…customers only…good lookin guys who try to woo others 😉

  5. unsungpsalm December 9, 2008 at 2:47 pm #

    Heehee. Nice nice!

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