“Rantings of a 16-year old girl”

4 Nov

That’s what a former chat friend described the blog as, last night. I thought it was in jest, and I took it as that. In fact, I would be inclined to agree! It does sound quite like one. And the last time we spoke, he said that my Blog’s name was far too pretentious, and I agreed yet again. The content wasn’t supposed to move in the direction that it did. It was supposed to be an account of thoughts that had some depth, but well, it turns out that most of my thoughts don’t have any depth.
Thus, one can expect a new title to the blog in some time from now, even though the blog address will unfortunately remain the same.

Anyway, our chat, and all that could follow, came to an abrupt end when he, out of nowhere said, “I don’t like the tone of this chat” or something, and “Please don’t bother messaging me again”
It came absolutely out of nowhere, and I was addled. I asked him if he was kidding, and he replied that he wasn’t, so I said goodbye and promptly deleted him. I truly dislike deleting people, especially those I’ve known for several months, but his words didn’t leave me with much of a choice.

Anyway, Queer As Folk is getting deeply embedded into my system. My present goal in life, it turns out, is to find a gang of gay friends. One of whom would be a “Brian”. And I would be a “Michael” (only with a better professional life). Sigh! Talk of tall expectations. But wouldn’t it be rather amazing to have several friends with whom you have so much in common? Well, besides the hag.

I’m contemplating changes in my career targets as well. Though one shouldn’t be swayed by such notions, a possible inlet into a rather renowned corp. in the area of specialisation of choice tempts me to aspire to use that inlet, and drop plans of going for further studies immediately after college. Which means working in the Gay Capital of India, but forsaking my ticket to the west, at least for the time being.

I also cancelled my trip to Delhi that was to happen a week from now. It was a hard decision, but it turns out that I didn’t have enough reason to want to go.

Everything seems to be rather bleak at the moment, and I have an exam in a few hours. Hopefully its outcome will cheer me up a bit. Or something else, if not that!
Are these post-Bangaylore Blues? I wonder.


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