My little Angel, Some day we’ll be together

11 Oct

I came across this article about the same time I opened Kris’s blog to discover the same mentioned in a slew of articles on homosexuality, included in Tehelka’s next edition. Needless to say, I was fascinated with the first paragraph itself. Those very words that I have repeated time and again, over and over, were written before me; and I am not alone.

IT’S ONLY RECENTLY THAT I have felt that I could afford to bring up a child. And, since then, I have been seriously considering surrogacy, of asking a woman friend whether she would have my child. Because I do want it to be my child. I know adoption is an option but the idea of having my own baby sounds wonderful.


I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a father and I have always known I wanted a daughter.

Vinay Chandran, “Homosexuality does not preclude Paternity”, Tehelka, 18th October 2008

I remember a casual dinner with Alika some months ago. We were conversing on growing up, marriage, parenthood. As usual, I commented on how I’d probably never get married but wanted a child and would probably have one by myself. She initially must have thought that I was joking, but since I’ve said it so often, she knew that maybe at some level, I meant it. She then got all serious and said, “UP, you cannot be serious. A child needs a mother. Especially a girl.”

Of course, I have no way of convincing her that I’d be a good father, mother and everything to my own baby. But then, I don’t really need to prove anything to her. What about to myself? I could only prove it with time.

But my mind wanders. I am only a bit over 20. I have a long way to go, enormous amounts to see. Who knows what lies ahead? Who can say that one’s mind won’t change in time? That tomorrow, when I’m out there… I’ll still want a child?

And that is of what I am afraid.


6 Responses to “My little Angel, Some day we’ll be together”

  1. D October 12, 2008 at 12:02 pm #

    A single parent will always be a topic of debate – whether it’s a man or a woman. And while I respect your choices, I personally feel that since a child cannot be created without a man and a woman (or the male and female chromosome), the role of both the parents is important in the child’s life. That, of course, is not to say that single parents shouldn’t exist as such. But as someone who had both a mother and a father to turn to as a child, I can’t imagine a childhood without either of the parents missing!

  2. Nova October 12, 2008 at 12:03 pm #

    Such a nice thought UnsungPsalm. Hope you will be able to do justice to such a worthy cause!! 🙂

  3. Dark Knight October 13, 2008 at 12:32 pm #

    To be honest, till this time, am not fond of child. I think they are cute to watch from far, but not to take care. I am having horrible time because of my nephew and he’s enough for now. After all all children are same. I can’t stand their tantrums. 😛

    May be some years down, i might feel same..but till then, am happy 😀

  4. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper October 14, 2008 at 1:39 am #

    Kids? .. Wow … That’s deep, Candice …

    @D: I have seen children of straight couples who are more horrible than Chucky … and children of single parents who turned out to be just fine … (Eg: Sarah Palin = Both set of Parents. Barack Obama = Single Parent. You do the math. Although I am not generalizing.) Plus, I think a the process of being a good parent is started by wanting a child for a right reason. And I think Candice here would make a good parent. I think he’s ready to lead on day one ….

    Well, sort off.

  5. unsungpsalm October 14, 2008 at 7:26 am #

    *Extends his arms almost entirely around Ramby’s equator and squeezes in a giant embrace and a quick peck on the cheek*

  6. G November 13, 2009 at 9:57 am #

    I would kinda disagree with Alika. There are so many motherless daughters out there who are doing good in life. All credit goes to fathers, grandparents also ayahs at some point.
    So your plan is good. Dont worry too much. 🙂

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