Attack of the Bat-Rat

29 Jul

Or Spider-rat. Or Super-rat. Call it whatever, it is ugly and huge and freaky.

But before I speak of it, let us go back in time, say 7 years, at a time when I was a wee innocent and frightened 13-year old. Presently, I remain all those things but 13.

Anyway, news had it that an absolutely terrifying creature by the name of “Monkey Man” was haunting the streets of New Delhi. I wasn’t much into reading newspapers then, so I did not follow the press coverage too well, but from what I heard, this thing lurked in the dark, attacked people, could jump to abnormal heights and was hideously ugly. A man who was half a monkey. A monkey who was half a man. Hence, a scary man. Or a monkey with a bit of a brain.

That was not all. The creature also had red shining lights engraved onto his body. So I would wake up randomly in the middle of the night and see shining red lights in the darkness of my bedroom, and I was supposed to be okay with it. Well, I wasn’t. So there! I could not comprehend why everyone else was. Being the paranoid yet neglected child that I was, I repeatedly asked my parents more and more about this horrifying being, but they would shush me. Eventually, someone told me once that it restricted itself mainly to East Delhi. I was calmed a bit, but not too much.

I remember that one morning during the Monkey-Man period, when my sleep began to break a little too early. I was in a semi-lucid state, and thoughts of the Monkey Man began to creep into my mind. Then I visualised an evil skeleton-like face, with red eyes, a hole for a nose and wearing a brown hat. ‘Twas infact the face of a particular villainous character I had seen many years before then, on SwatCats, a reincarnated spirit of a dead pilot. So this evil face came to mind, and I linked it with the identity of the Monkey Man. So now, the Man part of Monkey Man was a skeleton!

I lay there in my bed, deeply convinced that the Monkey-Man, with the aforementioned features, was standing right behind me. Reaching out for me. Slowly, with one bony arm. Towards my shoulder.

I lay there in my bed, shivering. A terrifying cackle filled my senses. I shivered harder. I felt the cold skeleton-like arm grip my shoulder, another loud cackle and I woke up fully. It was still dark in the room. I lay there shivering, not daring to turn on my back. “He’s probably standing behind me still,” I thought. I daren’t look.

Terrified, I tried to force myself back to sleep, until I felt the first ray of light enter the room. Then, I finally had the courage to look around.

No one has any definite idea on what happened to the Monkey Man. Some theorise that the character was invented by citizens to ensure a continuous supply of electricity and water in their homes during that period (The monkey man was said to be hydrophobic and photosensitive). Another story says that he was spotted running away to Mexico.

But enough with fictional characters.

Last night, I sat on my computer, minding my own business and watching an old TV show. I heard my roomie address me, turned to see his eyes transfixed on the suitcase below my bed. “Okay, don’t freak out but there’s a rat under your bed.”

“A rat?” I asked.

“Yes,” he responded.

“A rat?” I asked again.

“Yes,” he responded patiently.

“You do mean a mouse, right?”

“No, a rat…” I leaped to his side of the room, as far away as I could from my bed.

“Okay, how big was it exactly?” I started worrying. He held his palms about a foot apart.

“Shit, you’re not serious!” He opened the door and grabbed the broom.

“Get the mop from the toilet,” he said. I fetched it. The space underneath my bed was congested with a suitcase and a handbag. We opened the door wide. Broom in hand, mop in the other’s, he pulled at the handbag, and I at the suitcase. A rat as large as George Bush scurried from one corner of the bed, avoided the door we had so politely left it open, and dashed right into the bathroom.

My roomie and I looked at each other. No, it wasn’t a question of who was to go after it. He was, of course. It was more a matter of how. He took the mop from me, slowly opened the bathroom door. The rat was nowhere to be seen. He looked behind the door, the buckets… nothing.

“It’s gone,” he said. “Nonsense! It’s probably behind the WC.” I replied.

“I’m going to jump onto the WC and then look.” He did. “It’s not there.”

The Mystery of the Vanishing Rat?

“Oh shit,” he continued. “Looks like he went out of the ventilator.

What? It’s 6 feet high!” I protested.

“But your bowl is in the WC. That means he climbed up everything and escaped from there… and knocked it down… So that means we’ll have to keep the bathroom locked at all times now.”

So it appears that we are now unwilling hosts to a massive rat that climbs our walls, WC’s and what-nots, scaling altitudes of over 6 feet. But we were safe in the thought that with the bathroom locked, it could tread no further. Or so I thought till this morning, when I went to college.

“Shit, there’s this huge rat that comes to my room…”

“Oh yes, I know! It comes through the vent above the window, no?” a friend chimed in, ruining an extremely good story.

Which window do you mean?”

“The one in the rooms?!” he responded.

“It comes in through that? That’s like 11 feet high!”

“Where did you think it enters from then?”

“The bathroom?” I responded naively.

“Oh, it exits from there.”

Wow! So I had left the entry point back in my room quite open enough, but had blocked the exit. I sent my roomie an SOS sms, iterating the need to take definitive action. The decision on that is yet pending. So it appears that we have a Super-Rat or a “Bat-Rat” or whatever you want to call it, visiting us. While we sleep, eat, watch TV or anything really. And that my roomie and I have stocked up the room with cereal and fruit is no comforting thought.

The rat is yet to make it’s second appearance in our presence. Suddenly, I miss the 2 little mice we had in our room back in UP.


9 Responses to “Attack of the Bat-Rat”

  1. D July 30, 2008 at 12:34 am #

    A rat family once gave babies inside our neighbour’s sofa. Don’t ask me how and when. It was super EEEEEOOOWWWW!

  2. flygye12 July 30, 2008 at 9:44 am #

    i heard about some electronic devices available in market which make ultra high sound which only the rats (n mosquitoes) can hear. they are supposed to keep the rats away. (i tried the mosquito one it worked pretty fine)

  3. unsungpsalm July 30, 2008 at 1:29 pm #

    Oh yes, I’ve read about them too! The mouse ones, not the rat ones.
    They come as mobile applications with Computer versions as well. Tried them once. Didn’t seem to work too much.

    Oh well, I’ve blocked as many entry points as I could. I doubt I have a high-tech market anywhere nearby, so RatKill is the next best.

    Rodent Babies are sooo cute 🙂

  4. chandni July 30, 2008 at 10:40 pm #


    and btw ur twenty years old??

    like, really? just 20?

  5. unsungpsalm July 30, 2008 at 11:50 pm #

    Errr… like really. Just 20.
    (You’re scaring me a little bit)

  6. Kris Bass July 31, 2008 at 2:16 am #

    As I’m reading your post, I’m having to live with one of the obese mice that I have seen lurking behind my computer table. I don’t know what to do with it. I hate mice. I like cats!

  7. unsungpsalm July 31, 2008 at 7:20 am #

    Well, you could roast it a bit, and have it with Mashed Potatoes and garlic bread.
    Or are you vegetarian?

    In that case, just give it a bit of rat-kill. Rodents love that thing… Hee Hee Hee!

    *Pops Devil Horns*

  8. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper July 31, 2008 at 7:31 am #

    Have you been smoking those funny cigarettes again?

  9. unsungpsalm July 31, 2008 at 7:46 am #


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