The Storm Approaches… but will the war wage?

14 Jun

Nowadays, I require the smallest issue and least amount of provocation to flare up and enter into bitter embroilment with anybody who would dare express a view that takes foundation in even remotely antiquated thought. Not once do I falter in vehemently advocating Liberty, progress and modern-thought. I even surprise myself occasionally as these outbursts often occur in the presence of relatives and even distant acquaintances who have previously known me to be reserved and thoroughly cultured.

My parents truly find themselves in a fix. Nonetheless, I have ensured that nearly nothing that I say should not stem from logic and reason.

This anger that consumes me, undoubtedly has strong undercurrents that only I or someone else in my position could possibly perceive. In a way, I am preparing myself for tomorrow when I may have to stand up before society to fight for what I defend now… my dignity.

The question here is; will this war ever wage? I am utterly confused over whether I will actually end up fighting this war with Indian society, and the Indian mindset. There are many factors to consider; one, that the society is ignorant by choice; two, they believe that strength lies in majority (and I am in a minority) and three, the battle could be nearly endless.

On the contrary, the youth appears to be progressing well, in mindset, and would be receptive. Secondly, the battle, if won, would bring a sense of satisfaction that would be unparalleled.

Again, to counter that, it would mean abandoning family and, to some extent, causing them anguish and ‘disgrace’.

The other option would be to run away. Catch the first flight out, with a one-way ticket; just as I have always dreamed of. Find better prospects in a domain that is more understanding, progressive and accepting.

I want to fight. But I also want to live happily. I want to stand up and shout. I want to go to bed at night and sleep comfortably. Each motive that follows the other contradicts it.

Would it be easier to fight, if I wasn’t so alone? Would the thought of people counting on me, on Us, make all the difference?

Would I rather take the Road Less Travelled, provided I did not walk alone?


2 Responses to “The Storm Approaches… but will the war wage?”

  1. Rambunctious WhipperSnapper June 15, 2008 at 5:46 pm #

    If you climb into my head this very moment, you would find me thinking the same thing almost every awake moment. it’s like an old school scale with the ticket to the land of the free on one hand and a desire to fight on the other.

    And as you said, it’s a choice between being happy and being at odds with the people around you constantly. Why can’t we do both??

    At least I now know I’m not the only one who is forever caught in this dilemma 🙂 ….

    And I hope you don’t mind that I blogrolled you?

  2. Dark Knight June 16, 2008 at 12:59 pm #

    Same questions pop up every day in my head too. But i don’t know the answers or what next steps should i take. All i know is, I just want to be a happy person with happy thoughts. but complications are there…. am trying my best to achieve my goals….. And i agree with Rambun, am also trying to fit in both – being happy with the people around you!!

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