… I turn to you, dear blog.
Its not a nice thing to do. Its the kind of devotion exhibited by people who only offer prayers when they want something.
Which makes me a horrid devout, but you my god. And its true. I turn to you, not when I need something but when I’m upset. Or rather, when I need to be heard by someone who will listen without judgment. To whom I am all that matters.
The US seems very little different from India. Which means that the problem is not with society but with me. To quote, I may be sociable and other polite things but at the end of the day, I am outspoken and opinionated. And I don’t know how to be diplomatic about it. Which is what I hear from people I’ve barely spoken to. I guess word travels around.
And then I feel the need to be the complete complete contrast. Quiet and reserved.
This is how I explain myself… I am a free spirit. I fly free, until you cut my wings, and then I cannot fly.
Am I being needy and dramatic? Or is it innate? I do not know. I cannot know. There is no middle path (or I haven’t found one till date). Everything works in cycles. My history repeats itself, and I learn nothing. It’s never any different.
I know the problem. I’m self-aware. It works against how I’m programmed on the inside.
But what and where is the key?
Its natural that we turn to God in times like these… I am a believer,but I dont sit and pray long hours,until and unless i need something badly…Two days back,I watched “Prayers for Bobby”…and cried like never before,(Yes, Drama is a part of our lives,one which we cannot suppress
)and I just needed to talk to somebody,but who could I talk to ?.. Who would understand me ,more clearly than the Higher power up above.. and trust me I felt better …So.. Well,I’d say.. No matter what happens…He is there for all of us….
OMG what a co-incidence ! I had started watching the same movie 2 days back…but then I didn’t feel like I wanted to feel down, so I stopped watching :/
Whoa!! I cry everytime I watch that movie. I in fact wrote about it too.
So we all turn to blog when we are sad. Now wonder all Gay Indian blogs are either sob stories or just plain pornographic ones.
@USP: same here
my blog seems to be one long sad story. The happy part is that I blog only when I am feeling down, so the lesser I blog means I am in a good mood 
LOL I have stopped counting the number of times I have resolved to talk less. Its only cause we are super-sensitive I guess …
Oh hey there… First of all,I think you should watch the movie… yes, it got me down.. But I think i needed to go through that reality check !!… It is a very inspiring movie ..I mean like, really good ! ..
Wow, apart from the God stuff, I could have written this post. We share the same traits, the same need to spread our wings.
I can totally relate to this!! So if you ever find that mean path, do let me know too!!
Why do none of your ‘it’s’ have any apostrophes? :O
One things which I learnt living away from India is not to be too open with everyone, you never know where they are coming from
Missing you, come back soon