The Hagatha Chronicles « The Unsung Psalm

The Hagatha Chronicles

September 9, 2008 at 9:22 am | In Friendship, Hag, Mundane Everythings | 5 Comments
Tags: Confusion, Hag, People

So Hagatha, my current BestFriend and former Hag, seems to be enjoying all the one-sided relationship we seem to have going. She shares and shares, and I repsond politely. The worst is that I cannot be honest with her, about how it sometimes bores me, about the fact that I have things I would like to share as well. About how everything she says is so wishful and “wannabe” and how it sounds almost a little ridiculous. Correction, utterly ridiculous. I cannot tell her how I’d rather just be away from her and that we don’t spend as much time together, at least for a while.

Because if I do, there will be lectures and tantrums, about how she was always there to listen about my issues and pursuits, and I would never listen. Of course, I would never listen! She would never talk! Except right when I was in the middle of a story, that is. I was approaching the climax and she would start of about “Ya, that happened to me once to when…”, or “Even I don’t like it when…”
The worst would be when on countless occasions, right when I was telling her why I despised somebody so much, she would interrupt and say “He’s never really done that to me, so I don’t know.” So what are you implying, dear? That I’m fibbing?

So if I were to tell her I felt this way, all this would come out and she would cry and complain. Then there would be endless and insolent SMSes at all times of the day. Then she would complain if I did not respond. We would start talking less, things would be strange in the friends’ circle. They would try to bring us together without really knowing what the entire issue was, because neither of us could explain it to them.

Basically, it’s all quite rotten, and there’s very little I can do.

I suppose the only thing that could make me feel good at the moment was if I was to get into a relationship and not tell her. Then if she found out later, maybe it would dawn upon her that I hadn’t been sharing anything with her this entire semester, and so much had probably happened since then. That maybe things weren’t as rosy with us as she had imagined. Maybe it would make her feel a little less special.
Maybe I’m a sick sadist.

Oh well, this blog is all about honesty (well, to some extent) so there, I said it.

Now I shall go and finally write that Private Post about Maddy, that I hadn’t written as I had planned before. I meet the guy online once a week, and even then, he’s pre-occupied. It’s bloody annoying really!
Oh well, I shall reserve the rest for that post.

PS – For fellow Gay Cinema entusiasts, I’ve created a new page documenting my favourite Gay Flicks. Do go through it and see if you can contribute to the list
I know we’ve done that before in a post or two, but I’d prefer if it was documented in one place!

5 Comments »

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u said u’re best friends with her right??

why can’t u guys just talk it out?? May be both of u r talkers and not listeners and hence the problem. Either one or the other ends up feeling theiy’re getting a raw deal…

Comment by chandni — September 9, 2008 #

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That is precisely the point. It’s not quite a win-win situation!

Comment by unsungpsalm — September 9, 2008 #

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My relationship with Phoebe, it’s not as complicated as yours. May be because neither of us is having any romantic-kinda feelings towards each other. And we both are great talkers and listeners as well. I love to hear her kvetch. Well it is actually her fault that she describes it so humorously and I’d be laughing like anything. She is the sole person who can understand what I’m trying to convey. But the irony is that neither of us would be available for each other when it is really needed. And after everything gets settled, unbelievably we get time and we are like, “Where the hell were you when I needed you!!” And we discuss all the odd things that happened. The truth is we don’t depend on each other (although both of us are willing to be that pillar of support) for our existence. That gives us our own space.

Comment by Crazy Sam — September 9, 2008 #

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Maybe I’m a sick sadist …

You say that like it’s a bad thing? ? ?

Comment by Rambunctious WhipperSnapper — September 10, 2008 #

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Good lord, now why would you go about having such abominable thoughts, Ramby!
Of course, I’m very proud of it. Not in this context, though.

Comment by unsungpsalm — September 10, 2008 #

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