This morning, as I was leaving my room for class, and basically fine tuning my computer for its download operations, I noticed some messages from a most unexpected person. Suneet(formerly EFS… posts here, here and here) had suddenly taken it upon himself to enquire about my wellbeing. I was quite taken aback, and said so outright, asking him why my existence had suddenly dawned upon him.
He said that he’s leaving the country tonight for further studies. It had been decided all of a sudden, a fortnight ago.
I struggled to choose between missing my first class to continue speaking with him(attendance is precious here), or hoping to catch him again when he was in the other part of the world. Extremely capable of sacrificing whatever for someone I had almost illicit feelings for, I decided to be resolute, said I had to run and hoped he would be bothered enough to say Hi once he was there. Just as much because even if I had taken out an hour-and-half to speak with him,
he would’ve been his normal pre-occupied self, juggling twenty other things with our chat, and not really caring much for our conversation.
Yes, I do feel awful. I always had this plan to somehow get-him-to-ask-me-to-meet-him if I ever went to his city. I really have been searching every opportunity to visit his city, for that! Now, I have no reason anymore; even to hope.
Suneet will become one of a few individuals who stimulated my thought and desire, in his own way. Tomorrow I may forget him. He’ll probably forget me today. But right now, six months after I told him that I didn’t want to retain any contact with him as it seemed to be of such little priority (to him), I know that I will miss him. Immensely.
Goodbye Suneet… may god be with you.
Maybe he’ll come back to your life… without even trying to!
Unlikely, I should say. That’s asking for a miracle.
Anyhow, he was in my life, but I never truly was in his.
Unsung, you really need to take care of yourself. Your mind is restless and swaying like waves in the ocean.
Sam’s quick-fix : Get laid!