Unmasking takes time « The Unsung Psalm

Unmasking takes time

August 17, 2008 at 11:42 am | In Hag | 24 Comments
Tags: Coming Out, Hag, Obsessions, Yours Truly

Yesterday, KT and I were sitting in the canteen and talking casually about the times when we all used to blog so regularly, and comment on each other’s work. She told me that I hadn’t blogged for very long, and I agreed that I desperately needed to start writing again.

“Maybe I’ll just write for myself,” I said, at a point.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You know, not really write to public it anywhere… only for myself.”

“Ha! <Unsung Psalm> writing without putting his name on it? Gimme a break!”

I simply smiled and she continued…

“I know you well enough, y’know! You’re a complete attention freak.”

“Maybe I’ll write anonymously, then.”

I couldn’t deny it. I do adore attention and appreciation for my work, if it is worthy of it. (Even if it isn’t!)

KT is my closest friend and the best I’ve ever had, but I’d still rather isolate her from this blog… even though its purpose is somewhat waning.

I created this blog as another identity, one that would never merge with my own. That is how it was intended to be.

But then I met so many people through this forum, most of whom are listed in my Blogroll, that I would hate if this identity did not merge with my real one someday. Yes, I can truly imagine us all sitting in a coffee shop, maybe 5 years hence, laughing and talking about these days and experiences. Though I never imagined it, I really do see myself revealing my identity on these pages, though not anytime soon.

And because Unsung Psalm may probably have a real name some day…

You will not be reading about any aspects of my life, or activities that I may indulge in, that I wouldn’t want to carry on my sleeve.

So there!

24 Comments »

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Hmm.. just to make one fact straight, I think there is no bigger attention-whore than me.

And actually I’m quite surprised by this post. Some posts ago, you were telling us that you would never consider meeting any of your blogger friends and now this sudden change?

Anyways, I’m still sticking to the answer that I gave that time.

Comment by Crazy Sam — August 17, 2008 #

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I feel quite the same way about my identity and blogging. When I started blogging, I didn’t just put my name up there but also my pic! Later, I realised it was more liberating to write anonymously. And the day when I can integrate my real and virtual self will be the day when things come a full circle!

Comment by D — August 17, 2008 #

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Wow! I don’t think I’ve EVER put my pic up!

*Sam
I believe I said I didn’t want my Blog friends to become chat friends. And by chat friends, I meant “chat” friends. The kind you talk with a while to see if there’s chemistry, otherwise say goodbye and goodluck.

I wouldn’t dream of meeting on this day but would love it sometime in the future…

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 17, 2008 #

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Forgive me Unsungpsalm if you think I’m trying to twist your words and you can delete this comment if you feel like I’m violating your personal space.

Your exact words were: “I hope that my acquaintances here never become my acquaintances in real life, because they would know too much about me.”

I resonated that statement coz I too would wish the same, but for a different reason. And that reason would be, “because they would be knowing too less about me.”

Comment by Crazy Sam — August 17, 2008 #

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Oh! Hmm…I do not remember that.
Maybe it’s because my memory is so poor. Because of which i’m probably forgetting what it is that you guys know about me that I wouldn’t want you to associate with my true identity.
Yes,i’m very puzzled!

Comment by unsung.psalm — August 17, 2008 #

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And know too less about you? How is that? That they would judge you on the basis of your Blog and possibly not the person you truly are?
Are you all that different in the real world?

Comment by unsung.psalm — August 17, 2008 #

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aah now u say this! and when I suggested meeting up on facebook???

Grrrrrrrrrr

Comment by chandni — August 17, 2008 #

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I’ll have a decaf cappucino …..

Comment by Rambunctious WhipperSnapper — August 17, 2008 #

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Well, I do maintain that I’m not quite ready to meet at present. Possibly sometime in the future! Like in a few years! Or at least One year…

Homophobia is a tough thing to deal with, y’know. We might just face it if our family and friends find out.

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 17, 2008 #

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Yes I may be different, but what I write on my blog is 110% honest. I swear! By the way, I was referring to your Blog-ography post. Whatever, let’s leave it. I can almost sense other thinking, “Crazy dumbo Sam, take your trash and dump it somewhere else!”

No offense to anyone! Hehe..

Comment by Crazy Sam — August 17, 2008 #

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Thanks for bringing it up, Sam. I just read it and it was like another awakening.
Yes, I suppose I’m irresolute on the matter. I cannot say that I’m undecided, but rather my decisions, it seems, keep changing.

As things stand right now, I haven’t really exposed myself as much as I could, so that in any eventuality, I should not regret it. Which means that if I do come out on this blog someday, there isn’t anything I’ve written so far that I would regret.
Then again, I could be wrong. You seemed to recall my earlier sentiments better than I could myself, so I would have to re-read this entire blog to know if what I suppose is indeed true.

What is ironical is that when I wrote that last line in my “About”, I didn’t imagine it would come true so soon.

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 17, 2008 #

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PS – All that you’re saying is enlightening to some extent, and a bit flattering as well. So stop expressing reservations in speaking further about it!

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 17, 2008 #

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Admit it …

You’re as big a flip-flopper as everyone else

See all of us do think about coming out on our blogs. It’s not unimaginable. But it should be done as and when one is comfortable and only to those whom you are comfortable with.

Comment by Rambunctious WhipperSnapper — August 17, 2008 #

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OMG! He said something serious again! Call the cops…

Yes, I’m a flip-flopper. I admit it. But I flip-flop unknowingly.

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 17, 2008 #

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Just trying to be this “human” thing you accuse us off. Hmph.

Forget it, now. You humans are so not worth it.

Comment by Rambunctious WhipperSnapper — August 17, 2008 #

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So, why is it that you guys have a problem merging your private and public identitiy?

Comment by Kris Bass — August 17, 2008 #

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You are getting ready. That’s great.
I also want to do same. But sometimes i fear some of my friends or colleagues might read this and they will know.
but i want you guys to know who i am. So may be facebook is great

Comment by Dark Knight — August 18, 2008 #

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Even I get scared of revealing too much of myself on the blog… its scary!

Comment by Nova — August 18, 2008 #

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hey, I was just kidding! take ur time…

but I also think that people who “understand” are the best bet in your situation….because u need to feel comfortable within urself first.

And once u meet people who like u anyway and don’t care about your sexuality, yiu’ll start feeling much better

just my take!!

Comment by chandni — August 18, 2008 #

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*Chandni
I often wonder how you went about being so tolerant and gay-friendly.

I mean, there’s one thing to not being homophobic, and there’s another being so supportive…

Is there a story in there that we should be knowing, Hmm?

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 18, 2008 #

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I work in the development field, what you think!!!

Guess its because a lot of real life friends are gay and I LOVE them to death. So it was never that sensational or controversial for me…and then, one thing that I am not, is judgemental!

Comment by chandni — August 18, 2008 #

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Oh Oh Oh! I think I know one of your friends…

He’s erm… tallish (but not too tallish), awesomely hot (though some may just find him above average looking), single and on the lookout for a nice 20-year old boyfriend… what’s his name again? Remind me, for I forget. And his phone number too.

Comment by unsungpsalm — August 18, 2008 #

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ya right!

Comment by chandni — August 19, 2008 #

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i don think i wud direct my real life friends to my blog…but i wudn’t mind making my blog friends real life friends (okay not close friends but the kinds u wud meet on diwali and new year party

Comment by flygye12 — August 25, 2008 #

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