The Unsung Psalm

It’s 11 p.m. and I sit alone in my room. My roomie is nowhere to be seen, and hasn’t shown himself for 2 hours now. I’m not exactly missing his presence, as I’m quite occupied editing a story given to me by an acquaintance. No, I’m not a renowned Editor, working with a leading daily. He happens to know that I’ve have a fair command on the language (a fact that I do not deny, and subtly flaunt) and hence has approached me. I haven’t had the heart to refuse, fearing that he may take it unfavourably as my doubting his skills with the pen, rather than my own as a proof-reader.

As I was saying, it’s 11 p.m. and I’m alone in my room. I do not mind it at all; I can make my peace with loneliness. The divine forces don’t quite agree, and don’t like to see me alone.

A mouse enters from under the door and scurries towards the cupboard. He disappears around it in a matter of seconds. Phut! Hardly any worthwhile company.

I return to my editing. The task is arduous, and I cannot seem to manage it too well with this incessant flapping sound.

Wait a minute. What flapping sound?

UGH! There’s a hideously ugly insect flapping beside my ear. It darts at the wall, then towards my face. It falls on my bed. Flaps a little more. I ignore it. Ignorance is the best treatment. It is obstinate! It once again darts at my face.

“I do NOT want your company!”

I keep ignoring it. It persistently bothers me. “ENOUGH!”

I grab my folder. Swish! Swat! Missed. Damnit!

It settles on my bed yet again. I slowly reach for my handkerchief, clasp the darned invertebrate, and head towards the door. I open the door, shake the handkerchief in the corridor to release the contemptible soul and shut the door. As I stand there “Bravo”-ing myself, I notice something flapping on the floor, right below me. DAMN IT! It refuses to let go!

When god closes a door, he opens a window.

I am not the only one watching the insect. Nestled in the corner between the door and the wall is a…

Ribbit!

No, it’s not a mis-spelled Rabbit. “Ribbit” unfortunately happens to be the cacophony made by a frog. A FROG! WHY, GOD, WHY?

The frog observes the battered flying-insect at my feet. Then it observes the 5-feet-something-inches Human Being towering above it. It takes a step forward, then one backward. It looks straight at me, making firm eye contact.

“Fine Fine!” I retreat to my bed.

He takes a leap forward. Then two more. He devours the fly. I expect it to be obedient, open the door and leave, but that is clearly too much to expect of something that stands only a few inches tall. So I move towards the door, and he returns to his safe corner. I open the door as much as I can without crushing him (Not because I don’t want to but because the flying-insect would come right out) and move to the other end of the room. The frog approaches, moves around the door, and is chased away by me. I bid it an inhospitable farewell, slam the door shut and return to my bed.

Life is peaceful again. No flying-insects, no frogs, no roomie.

*FLAP FLAP*

Son-of-a-BITCH!

So here’s another one, scaling my wall. Looking for its sibling, perhaps?

SWAT! Missed. I take it as a sign from God that I should not kill. Very well!

I grab my handkerchief (it’s insect-ed already) and lunge towards it. “Ha! Gotcha!”

I walk towards the door, open it, and shake the handkerchief in the dark and empty corridor. I then retreat and hastily shut the door. Once again, I shake the hanky to make sure. Nothing.

I’m back on my bed, writing out this post.

ZWOOP! Something brushes against the top of my head. *Flap Flap* Ugh! It’s there again, on the wall. Enough! I cautiously lift my shoe. SWAT! Sorry God, I’d rather be an atheist.

Yes, it’s quite dead. Yes, it’s stuck to my wall. Yes, I killed it. What’s your point? It is a warning to any of its brethren that dare cross my threshold! Stop looking at me like that!

So there!

Update :12.30 AM

Right. So there are a million of them. Here, in my room. Buzzing around me. My dearest acquaintance, who’s story I am proof-reading, happens to be acquainted with the species. He says that this insect-thing appears randomly in hoards on one fine day, floods your room, flies around, sheds its wings, and walks all over you. He does not explain how the dratted thing is going to climb my bed and walk all over my face, but he assures me that it will. Right, so I’m not sleeping tonight.

He also informs me that it upon killing it, some secretion is effused into the surrounding atmosphere (here, my room) that smells worse than horse-faeces. Yep, I won’t be sleeping tonight!

*SNZIKZWIP* (awkward sound that I cannot quite reproduce in text)

“Wha was that???” I yelp.

“Oh, nothing. Just a lizard devouring one of your new pets.”

Cool, then. I have a full fledged food-chain in my room, this evening. I wonder where I will fit into it.

Goodnight to those who will be fortunate enough to sleep. I shall greet you when you rise.

Update :1.20 AM

Death toll :11

Stuck on wall : 2

Swallowed by another creature : 3-4

Dead (and) on (the) ground : 5

Survivors : 0, as per present staatistics

Room for error in calculation of the above figure : 300%