… I turn to you, dear blog.
Its not a nice thing to do. Its the kind of devotion exhibited by people who only offer prayers when they want something.
Which makes me a horrid devout, but you my god. And its true. I turn to you, not when I need something but when I’m upset. Or rather, when I need to be heard by someone who will listen without judgment. To whom I am all that matters.
The US seems very little different from India. Which means that the problem is not with society but with me. To quote, I may be sociable and other polite things but at the end of the day, I am outspoken and opinionated. And I don’t know how to be diplomatic about it. Which is what I hear from people I’ve barely spoken to. I guess word travels around.
And then I feel the need to be the complete complete contrast. Quiet and reserved.
This is how I explain myself… I am a free spirit. I fly free, until you cut my wings, and then I cannot fly.
Am I being needy and dramatic? Or is it innate? I do not know. I cannot know. There is no middle path (or I haven’t found one till date). Everything works in cycles. My history repeats itself, and I learn nothing. It’s never any different.
I know the problem. I’m self-aware. It works against how I’m programmed on the inside.
But what and where is the key?